Number 8, Number 8, Number 8

Best Quote I Heard All Day
 I put all my genius into my life; I put only my talent into my works--Oscar Wilde

Yet another year passes.

I was trying to come up with some kind of witty surprise for my 8th blog birthday but the ole brain just ain't cranking out smart, snappy shit today.

Honest to God, my first entry on July 25, 2002, was a snorer. However, after that one, I got into the swing of things. I just reread the next entry, The KC's Top 10 List of Overrated Knitting Fads, and I have to say, knitting hasn't changed much. I still consider these ten items overrated. I might add a few more, though. Magic Loop being one. I know, lots of people love it. I find it more trouble than it's worth. Feel free to add to the list.

The History of the Knitting Curmudgeon
Going back to 1997, on the KnitList, I often got myself into flame wars because I refused to kiss knitting asses and frequently put the KnitDweebs on the spot when they acted like they knew all there was about knitting. And knew virtually nothing. That didn't stop them from running their cyber mouths.  I recall one biggie with the then-ubiquitous GM Almalfitano. Old timers will remember that one. She's now an Episcopal nun. God bless her. Heh.

Christmas 1998--Jimmy's birthday. I decided to buy him a copy of The Portable Curmudgeon. He laughed his ass off...but the word "curmudgeon" lodged itself in my head. At that time, we were on AOL, which offered simple websites for members. AHA! I decided it would be fun to make my own website and call it "The Knitting Curmudgeon." I wrote an essay on the origins of Aran knitting, had a section called "The Anatomy of a Knitting Disaster," and other knitting-related items whose topics I have forgotten after 12 years.

I updated The Knitting Curmudgeon occasionally, and people from the KnitList actually read it. By 2000, though, I was busy at work, going through a web development course, so I pretty much abandoned the website.

January 31, 2002. My world as I knew it was destroyed. My beloved Jimmy died suddenly after a short illness, acute myelogenous leukemia, and I was left bereft, bereaved, and lost. I struggled with my grief, shored up my guts, and continued on, not knowing where I was going but wending the wayward road back to life. On July 25th, I found the wayward road's emergency shoulder. Blogger.

WTF is a blog? A "weblog"? Could this be a project that would take my mind off my sorrow? I loved to write and it hit me that this might be a good way to exercise my skills.  I don't remember how I found out about blogs. Probably read about them in the NY Times. I remember the first blog I ever read was Bonne Marie Burns's Chic Knits. Cool! And then there was Chunky Delicious, another wonderful knitting blog. Stacey Joy's RedLipstick, Carrieoke's Knitting Blog. That was about it. This was long before the big blogs--Yarn Harlot and Wendy came a bit later.  I was psyched. So hence, The Knitting Curmudgeon became a blog.

Over time, I wrote about my life as well as knitting and then spinning. My gawd-awful dates and boyfriends. One of my favorite entries is Date-zilla. I don't think I'll EVER forget that one! It's the August 31, 2002 post, if you're interested. And then, there was Achim, the Nasty German, JT who I almost forgot about, and a few more one-hit wonders. With Liz growing up and dyeing her hair a ghastly blue, she became the Punk Princess. My mother, always an inspiration, made cameo blog appearances. And then there's Scrappy, my sister the scrapbooker. A cast of characters, indeed.

My spinning improved while writing the blog, with other bloggers being my inspiration. I was so impressed with ttheir spinning that I finally sat down at my Matchless, which had been gathering dust in the living room, and got up to spinning speed, so to speak. Just to toss in a picture to break up the text, here's my final Tour de Fleece silk laceweight.  Chasing Rainbows is wonderful shit! I shoulda put a penny in the strands for reference. Bite me.

The best thing about writing the blog is the wonderful friends I have made. Readers all of them, some of whom I've met in person, others who I hope to meet at Rhinebeck this year. Of course, there have been a few trolls whom I had to ban from the comments, one person in particular comes to mind, a witch who I suspect is a borderline personality and who has spread her hateful spewings on other blogs as well as mine. I won't name names but she is a "designer." Yeah, so to speak. And then there was the onslaught of the Purling Puppies, members of the webring of the same name, whose delicate egos I offended when I mocked their puppies 'n' knitting fixations--they flooded my comments with shrill shrieks. Shit, I have a puppy but Sam has nothing to do with my fiberwork.

As I always say, I write for myself, not for others. I knit and design for myself, not for others. But the Others mean the world to me. That's YOU, skanks. The Tontant Weaders who've followed me on my knitting and occasionally bipolar journey are rare and handy. OK, enough of this shit. I have knitting and spinning to do.

Idiot Cord for a True Maroon

Best Quote I Heard All Day  

  It is better of course to know useless things than to know nothing.--Tom Stoppard

If I spent time foraging in my brain to figure out how many useless things I know, I'd never get useless things done. 


Yes, this blog is filled with useless shit. Like the next bit about I-Cord. Whatta maroon!


Knitting Nancy, French Knitting, Spool Knitting...and then, I-Cord
Well, you all honored EZ with the invention of I-Cord, although she used her term "unvented" when discussing it. Certainly, EZ took I-Cord to the nth degree.


But as Ted mentioned in the comments, French Knitting (my mother always called the tool a Knitting Nancy) uses a spool with four nails hammered around the top edge--it has been around longer than EZ. 


I've found a wonderful book published in 1909 by Mary A. McCormack called "Spool Knitting." Check it out here in .pdf format. Now, if you need a chimney cleaner, you can put your I-Cord to good use following Ms. McCormack's directions.

Project Gutenberg is a free, open library where you can download books whose copyrights have expired. That's where I found "Spool Knitting" but the link I've given you is from American Libraries Internet Archive because the .pdf displays the book in its original, charming format.

Is there such a thing as Imbecile-Cord for seriously stupid knitters? There's a Ravelry group for Mensa members (I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members, as Groucho said). But no KnitDweeb group. What a pity. That means they're running rampant but at least I don't have to read their warshcloth, acrylic prayer shawl adventures.


Spun Out
I've got blisters on my fingers! (OK, skankettes, who said that? On what song? I gotta keep you sharp, dontcha know.)


I could write an article about spinning silk top. But I won't. Here's how ya do it:

• Rule 1: Don't spin from the top without dividing it into little strips. If you don't break it down, you'll end up with a disgusting mess.
• Rule 2: Always use Scotch tensioning (no Irish tensioning, no double-drive) and start with light tension. If your tension is too strong, the twist will get away from you. You can adjust the speed of your treadling until you're comfortable with the tension.
• Rule 3: Don't fucking clutch the fiber! EVER. 
• Rule 4: Measure and count, measure and count. That's a rule for any fiber, if you want consistency in your single.

Got it? Good. The picture below shows finished Bobbin #1 and a strip of the silk. I'm almost done with the second bobbin, hopefully with plied fiber in time for the end of Tour de Fleece on Saturday.

Can't wait to knit this shit.


Fiberality Fucking Around
Still designing socks and other things, although it looks like I'll be going back to work as of August 2. I'd like to introduce you to my premier sock model, Ms. Elisabeth Wagner, aka Punk Princess, prior to our recent photo shoot.

Such ebullient excitement! ("Yeah, OK, Gram. I'll do it if I can keep the socks. HURRY UP with the camera already!")


I've got directions to finish but here are two that will be available anon:

Miz Mermaid cuff-down socks, made with Black Bunny Fibers SoftSilk sock yarn. This is a simple slip-stitch pattern that works very well with hand-painted yarn. The pattern will be available on Patternfish.com. I'm going to give it to Carol, too, so she can give it away with the yarn, if she likes.


And here's the Leaves of Grass socks redo:

More SoftSilk. I love this stuff. I'll put up the link to the .pdf here, in the sidebar, and make it available via Ravelry too.

Tick, Tick, Tick
In just a few days, on July 25th, I'll be celebrating this blog's 8th anniversary. 

It's hard to believe that I've been doing this since I was a young'un of 52. I promise I'll do something special on the 25th, although I haven't quite figured out what. The heat's making my brain everso unrare, unhandy, and generally funky.


Later, skanks.

Luddites Unite!

Best Quote I Heard All Day
Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.--Mark Twain.

Even though I am a FaceBook and Ravelry devotee, I'm convinced that there is TMI, as my daughter Corinne says.

Too much fucking information. And too little actual interpersonal connection these days. When was the last time you truly sat down with a good friend and talked about life, love, and the pursuit of happiness? I'm feeling the need to see the two most important friends from my childhood--Dottie and Peggy. The older I get, the more important these women are to me. The three of us share deep experiences--teenage heartbreak, fucked-up marriages (them, not me), and the births of our children.

It's time to get real, and trash the cyber connection.

Too Much Shit!
Have you ever really analyzed why you knit or spin? And why you have a stash? Mine is now out of control. When you start stumbling over stash yarn that you loved at first sight, had to buy, but whose sudden reappearance is a shockerooni--"Holy shit, where did THIS come from?"--what does that say about you?

With me, knitting and my stash has always been the sanity lifeline. I always said, if I stop knitting, get me to the hospital asap. Never mind that knitting allows me to make stuff I can use. That's the least of it. If my focus goes haywire, knitting always brings me back to the real world, fiber provides color and comfort, and a new design project gives me great anticipation and joy. Knitting is the "lover" that never disappoints.

That said, no, I'm not giving away any of my stash. Yet. If I do, it will go to nursing homes, not to friends. Or I'll sell it at the next Stash sale at Stix-n-Stitches.

Wheel On, Baby
So I've been spinning a shitload of silk for the Tour de Fleece. I posted pictures twice on my Ravelry team discussion boards but frankly, there's so many people putting up pictures, I'm thinking it's a waste of time. I'm on schedule with the silk, though.

Here's the first week's effort.

This is the first of the two 2-oz. tops that I have.

Silk can be a bitch to spin. Not recommended for beginners. Top can become very compressed, due to dye processing, and this top has needed a fair amount of pre-drafting in preparation for spinning. I carefully open up the fiber and use only a very thin strip of the top. I don't spin from the fold, usually, because I find annoying.

Silk can also be very tough on the fingers. I hold the fiber in my right hand, control the twist with my left hand thumb and index finger for my worsted draw. The tip of my index finger, through which the fiber slides, is feeling a bit sore. Today is a TdF rest day but I'll probably do some spinning anyway because that's my daily evening routine.

Obligatory and Ubiquitous Knitting Shit
I'm so glad the Punk Princess is going to college 15 minutes from my house because she's my sock model. On Wednesday, she's providing her feet for a couple of sock designs, including the Leaves of Grass redo.

I haven't felt like designing anything other than socks lately, probably because it's too fucking hot.

Longtime readers might remember this Gansey sock I designed.

I recently found the chart for this, so I'm going to redo it, size it for children, women, and men, and then publish it.

The Leaves of Grass sock will be available next week via Ravelry and as a download here. Tontant Weader Kat is doing it toe-up so I may rework the chart and directions for toe-up at some point. (Kat also got the answer to who sang "Hot, Hot, Hot"--Buster Poindexter.

Now, the question of the week is: Which do you prefer? Cuff down or toe up?

Lately I've been getting into toe-up, especially now that I've learned Judy's Magic Cast-on. Talk about rare and handy. This is the kind of contribution to knitting that I've been talking about. Is Judy a knitting "celeb"? No, she's a generous person who's given knitters a solution that is close to i-cord in value. However, should she write a book, I'd buy it, or make a personal appearance, I'd love to meet her.

Do you recall who invented i-cord? And what the "i" stands for? Go for it, skanks.

Who IS Keyser Soze?

Best Quote I Heard All Day
You never knew. That was his power. The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. And poof. Just like that, he's gone.--Verbal Kint (Kevin Spacey), "The Usual Suspects"

And poof. Just like that, I'm here. God, I love this movie. Just finished watching it on TV and I never get tired of it.

So, this will be a down and dirty entry. I've been working from home all week and amazingly, been quite busy. But it beats the shit outta going anywhere. I had this idea that I would write today's bit this afternoon but lo! A document arrives from the wilds of Slovenia, 49 deeliteful pages to be edited between today and tomorrow.

Oh well. Here I am, and it's late.

But it's still Thursday, so hang on.

Open Mic Thursday
Besides eating a bowl of butter pecan ice cream today, which I had no business shoving down my trachea, I spent a little time doing something clandestine.

Yeah, I have these guilty pleasures that no one would ever think I would do. Besides eating ice cream, which habit is quite well known to those near and dear to me. Particularly one Super Jeenyus next door, who frequently cons me into walking to the store down the block for various flavors. Such as cherry vanilla, his favorite. With Hershey's chocolate sauce. Shit, he calls ME an enabler.

So what are my true guilty pleasures? Here they are, not necessarily in order of preference:

1. Vanity Fair and People magazines
2. Playing cards and other dopey games on Pogo.com
3. A real New York egg cream (if you have to ask, then you're clearly from another country)
4. S'mores
5. Super Jeenyus (es schmecht sehr gut)

OK, dish.

What are your guilty pleasures?

They need not be of the knitting variety. You will note that I do not consider knitting a guilty pleasure.

Tour de Fleece
I'm doing it. Every day. Spinning a silk roving called Grape Harvest. Quite lovely, I'm enjoying it. I do love to spin silk. So here's the proof in the pudding, as it were, for the past few days.


July 5


July 6


July 7



July 8

I'm really surprised at how much I've managed to spin as of today. Here's a picture of the roving spread out. The red arrow marks the middle of the roving. I always divide rovings in half and mark that point with some white cotton yarn, so that I can balance out the two bobbins more or less.
I took a day off from spinning today because I wanted to get back to knitting the Cobweb Crepe shawl, now that the Las Vegas Brights scarf is finished. I'll block that next weekend and then ship it off to Susan.

So much lace to knit, so little time. I'm contemplating knitting a lace curtain for my one living room window. A pattern from one of the Kinzel books has caught my eye and I have plenty of coned 8/2 cotton lying around.

Wrist Wrought
Well, I knew this was coming and I'm not overly surprised. The carpal tunnel syndrome in my right wrist has finally gotten to the point where I may no longer ignore it. A trip last week to my wonderful orthopedist, Dr. Rubman (great name, is it not?), kinda brought me back to reality. It's looking more and more like there will be surgery in the near future. I am most definitely losing strength in my thumb and index finger, as well as having increased discomfort.

I can still knit--the way I use my needles does not involve twisting my wrist. And Dr. Rubman blames the computer and mousing, not knitting, as the cause of the CTS.

So, now what? He says the surgery isn't so bad. He doesn't knit. Or type and mouse to make his living. I will have to make a decision on the 29th, when I go back to see him. I'm wearing my brace religiously, using a topical anti-inflammatory, and nothing's working.

I figure, I'll still be able to spin and if I can't knit, I'll pull out the embroidery and do that, since I draft and hand-sew with my left hand.

Being ambidextrous is a rare and handy thing. I will not be inactive. Fuck surgery. Just gimme some good drugs and I'll keep on keepin' on.

No Red, White, and Blue Ackrilic Knitted Objects Allowed on the Premises

Best Quote I Heard All Day

July 4. Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one 4th of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so.--Mark Twain

I love fireworks. Here in PA they are legal and you can even buy them in the supermarket. I was so fucking tempted to buy a bunch and shoot 'em off tomorrow. If it doesn't rain, which it's supposed to.

Friggin' Flag Knitting
The only garment made from a flag that was truly cool was worn by The Who back in the '60s. When Carnaby St. was the fashion universe, at least to this then 17 year old.

Here's the perfect KnitDweeb patriotic project. Red, white, and blue warshcloth done in the Old Shale pattern. Nice, huh? Of course, this is done in Sugar 'n Cream, available at the Michaels, AC Moore, WalMart, Hobby Lobby, and other wonderful KnitDweeb emporia.

Or perhaps you'd prefer to crochet a lovely flag afghan? Materials: Red Heart, but of course.

Now, these American flag socks are rather funky. And made with real wool, gang. I'd almost be tempted to make these, just to be obnoxious.

And, in keeping with the true KnitDweeb spirit, all of the aforementioned patterns are FREE, FREE, FREE.

Sorry, can't do white on white. Just white on rice.

Open Mic Thursday
OK, I've given you plenty of ammo. Ya wanna knit patriotic? Then tell the world...

Which of the three patterns above would you knit?

And if you have other sources for patriotic knitted stuff, feel free to shut the fuck up, please. Three are more than enough. Unless you have found something completely absurd. In which case, I'm sure we'd all be intrigued and disgusted.

Warped Speed
After having been sent this link by my dear sister, Ms. Scrappy, I may have to restrict my knitting web surfing. Be afraid, be very afraid of this link. It's not patriotic, just completely bizarre. Knit it because you can. I double dog-dared the blogging Wolvies to knit a pair and be photographed wearing them. No takers. Clearly, I have balls and I'll have to do it.

Obligatory Knitting Shit
The Las Vegas Brights scarf is almost done. Then it's back to the Cobweb Crepe shawl.

In the meanwhile, for all of us who spin, Katherine Matthews once again is having the Tour de Fleece.



I'm in. The Tour begins on July 5th and you must use fiber from your stash, which I think is a capital idea.

This is not the sum total of my fiber stash by a long shot. Just the smaller amounts. We won't talk about the 3 pounds of Romney, the endless supply of Tintagel Farm stuff, and other large purchases.

Please ignore all the Black Bunny Fibers purchases. I can't stay away from Carol's shit.

It's going to be one of these two. And I think I've already chosen the one. Both are silk.





So as of Saturday, the Joy will be cleaned and oiled. And then used for the Tour. Hot damn. I'll be taking photos as I go along. Gotta get it spun and plyed by the 27th so I qualify for the Maillot Jaune button. This one of the few "alongs" that I find worthwhile.

Because "alongs" are not particularly rare and handy, in my opinion. They belong with memes.

Note: The 6th anniversary of The Knitting Curmudgeon is fast approaching. July 25th. If any readers have good ideas for an anniversary blog topic, I'd appreciate the suggestions. God knows I never thought the blog would last this long.

Best Quote I Heard All Day
I base my fashion on what doesn't itch--Gilda Radner

Fashion. Who the fuck cares? If it looks good on you, it's right.

Besides, I still maintain that black always looks right on anyone for any occasion. Which is why I own a lot of black garments. I can go from work to a mortuary viewing to a party without a second thought as to my garb.

However, knitting with black yarn can be a total nightmare. Try knitting a black lace shawl.

Camp Anula
Tell me that I'm not still such a mommy that I could ever turn down my dear eldest daughter's request for a Campanula of her own. Jenn acts as model for the finished garment.

As you can see, I eschewed the I-cord ties for one simple crocheted chain threaded through the neckline eyelets and polished off with two small clay beads on each end. No ties on the sleeves for me; however, Jenn would like them. So I forthwith ordered more Cotton Glace, color Damson, per her request. For her own. She doesn't get mine.

So it's Camp Anula for me this summer, evidently. I really don't mind making another. It was a pleasure to knit.

Another Masterpiece
I've been cooking quite a bit lately, especially for the annual Roberts's Family Barbecue, held last Sunday poolside. Homemade strawberry shortcake, among other delicacies, made by yrs. truly Mamoo.

So fucking Betty Crocker I am. And I have now shed my ego entirely by publishing a picture of myself in my black (of course) bathing suit, no makeup, with freshly baked shortcakes in hand, ready for the vultures down on the deck. So, does this look good or what?

As I said to Loopy, I'm almost ready for the South Beach diet. Almost. But who can turn down fresh strawberries and shortcake? Damn.

Le Tour de Fleece
Katherine's doing her Tour de Fleece again this year and this time, I decided to sign up. Why? As you know, I don't generally do these things but it's an impetus to get some Chasing Rainbows bombyx top spun. Silk is always good. Besides, I enjoy the Tour de France. Along with curling, baseball, tennis, and other suchlike sports. So if you're interested, hit the Tour de Fleece button on the sidebar and sign up. I have 4 oz. of this silk to spin starting July 7th and ending the 29th.

Whether I get it done remains to be seen.

Happy 4th?
I hope the Amurricans among us have enjoyed their 4th. It poured rain here in Jersey for most of the day, so I played catch-up on indoor activities.

The 4th was also dampened by the pardoning of Scooter Libby. Disgusting. If you watch Keith Olbermann at all, Keith gave an impassioned commentary that sums up precisely what I hope every American understands and feels. You can view it here. It is well worth watching Keith rather than just reading it.

If the neocons start screaming about patriotism, they need look no further than Keith. In my mind, he is a patriot. Now we need to take what he says and demand the resignation of the Cheney/Bush regime. All of us. That's the right we won in our fight for independence and one that we should never forget we have to use. If we love our country, let's get rid of these miserable fucks by raising our voices. That's patriotism. It's past time to save this country.

Open Mic Thursday
In the spirit of freedom and saying what the fuck you think, any time and anywhere, here's this week's topic, as suggested by a reader:

Are people influenced not to make something they previously liked if it's snarked on a fairly popular blog? Or the opposite--did they make something everyone was making, and then it sat around in their closet unworn?

So, write your pithy remarks. As far as I'm concerned, I make what I want and don't give a shit who likes it or not, as long as I do. And I've never been one to join knitting bandwagons. So that's my take on the question.

Other News
I will be doing an interview with a very well-known designer to be published next winter in a major magazine. That's all I can say right now. But I'm very happy to have the opportunity to do writing of which I can be proud, rather than just technical writing.

I have been an editor and writer of many topics throughout my career, knitting being one, antiques, collectibles, payroll, insurance, valves, web-based applications, and other arcane items being others. I even managed to get an article on Flow Blue porcelain on the cover of a magazine once. That was probably the zenith for me.

However, those who know me well know that I am ill-suited for anything else. You wouldn't want me to be your waitress for the evening, that's for sure. I can't quite see myself as selling you Avon, either.

So with that, I leave you all to attack le matière du semaine. Yeah, I was a French major for my brief sojourn at Wilson College in the fine city of Chambersburg, PA. Who knew? Rather than lean on the talents I had using my native tongue, I decided to study a not-so-rare but handy foreign language. That and Latin. Absum!