Best Quote I Heard All Day
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?--Stephen Wright

I admit publicly that I cannot function without a cup of coffee immediately upon rising.

Nor can I write anything without the second cup.

These days, I'm completely enamored with my Melitta One:One coffeemaker. I drink "Buzzworthy," an Arabica that's made for the Melitta. Killer stuff.

Some people are wine connoissieurs. I am a coffee connoissieuse. Or at least, to a very minor degree. If the coffee has sparks, I'll drink it.

The Weaving Novitiate
It's been a long, long time since I really felt like a rank beginner. Setting up the loom has been an interesting experience and Loopy has been holding my hand throughout the whole deal. But I'm finding that I don't mind being a newbie at all. In fact, it's been great learning something new.

Heddles. 992 of them. They separate the warp thread. One thread through one heddle. Obviously, you don't use all the heddles at the same time. But they're there on the loom. As my sister says, "What the fuck kind of word is 'heddles'"? You can't explain these obtuse Olde English spinning and weaving terms, like "Mother of All" and "heddles" to someone whose medium is paper.

They're the wires hanging down. Actually, it wasn't hard to put them on the shafts. Just a bit tedious. I don't mind tedious if the results are worth it. Next step: Warping the loom. Warp drive, Mr. Scott.

What I don't know about weaving would fill volumes. But I'm excited at what I will be able to do, when I understand what the fuck I need to do.

This is why I really do have infinite patience with new knitters. Not KnitDweebs. Newbies don't know enough to be KnitDweebs. There's a big difference between the two.

Obligatory Knitting Crap
I thought I would have been finished with the Field of Flowers shawl, but I have yet a few more edging points to make before I'm done. The shawl is about two hours knitting time away from being finished. That's today's goal--get it done and get it on blocking wires tomorrow. So no pictures right now. However, I will post the blocking process in the next entry. In the meanwhile, I have my own lace design project that I'm swatching. More on that next week.

Busy-ness
You'd think, being at home now, that I have loads of leisure time. In fact, I'm up very early spinning, then writing from 8 to about noon, then screwing around with the loom from 1 until 3:30 or so, then knitting from 4 on. I've found this to be the optimum method of getting things done.

Of course, there are days when I need to do other shit, like run to the supermarket, go pick up Liz from cross-country, go to the dentist, and so on. But I try to stick to a fairly organized schedule.

Working at home takes discipline. I have always found that I tend to work harder and longer at home than I ever did in an office environment, something that employers don't seem to understand. No annoying interrruptions from co-workers who love to run their mouths, no irritating phone calls. No moronic meetings where everyone sits around jerking off and nothing gets done. No "telecons" for three hours (same as moronic meetings, except they seem to take longer).

So what's the point of what I'm doing? You'll see. If you haven't already.

It's a rare and handy thing to be mistress of your own life. And that's where I am now.

Best Quote I Heard All Day
It's no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying, 'Really, I was meant to be a ballet dancer.'
By then, pigs will be your style.--Quentin Crisp

I would hope that XRX has not turned into a pig farm. However, I suspect that it has.

And run badly, at that. If the magazine is any indication.

Really, Knitter's was meant to be the prima ballerina of the Knitting Universe. Unfortunately, it's devolved into a dancing pig.

A magazine managed by un-managers who fancy themselves the voices of the knitting world. And to some knitters, they are. For the majority? I wonder. I could make a comparison between the current government's rampant cronyism, lack of response to its citizens and general self-congratulatory manner and XRX. But I won't.

I find it telling that there has been scant mention of Stitches East on the major lists. That's very unusual. It's already Wednesday and people are long back from AC. I'm remembering Selma the Axe Murderess's wonderful Virtual Stitches posts on the Knit List long ago.

Joe has written some excellent suggestions on improving XRX and Stitches' woeful condition. Read them. They are just what the pig farmer ordered.

I know that I would love to see Knitter's and Stitches become viable entities once again. We criticize because, ultimately, we care. A once-wonderful magazine now a sorry rag and a once-enchanting knitting event now a dull, throbbing circus. Sad.

Rhinebeck Beckons
On a more positive note, it's little more than two weeks until Rhinebeck, aka New York State Sheep and Wool Festival, opens. This has become my highlight event of the year. And I'm working to finish the Field of Flowers shawl so I can wear it there. No doubt I'll need it, too. It's getting cooler, finally.

I have one more side to edge and then it's blocking time. The edging's points are quite curled now. But this will block out nicely. For the eddyfucation of those interested in knitting lace, I will photograph that process and publish it this week sometime. I would expect to have the edging finished by tomorrow.

Ma gave me some new-style yarn bras--see picture above. They are much finer than the old ones and come four to a package. She bought extra because she knew I'd probably want some. Saved my ass with this laceweight ball because it started to implode, as balls sometimes do. A real problem when it's fine yarn.

Heirloom Knitting
I bought this book at Stitches and it's one that I knew I wanted and needed for designing lace. It's absolutely worth every penny of the $55 price tag.

If you love lace, even if you're not interested in designing it, there are many wonderful stitch patterns within.

Flogging the Public Domain
I've ordered the new Vogue Knitting On The Go: Crocheted Hats because EVIL Kathy Merrick has several designs in the book.

Kathy does great hats. Not that I generally look terrific in hats but I do like making them. And I would like to do some more crochet. Crochet that isn't too tacky. Kathy knows exactly how to make crochet look elegant.

Of course, she's an evil bitch. But then, many of us around here are. Oh well. I guess I'm not going to discuss how I knit endlessly for charity, send prayers and hugs to the world, and house 450 stray animals.

That would diminish my continuing efforts to be rare and handy.

Best Quote I Heard All Day
All the pleasures of Maya are tasteless and insipid. In the end, they shall all fade away.--Sri Guru Granth Sahib

Welcome Back, My Friends, to the Show that Never Ends
I'm back from Stitches East. They had a large, prominently placed sign that said, more or less:

NO PHOTOGRAPHS PERMITTED WITHOUT AUTHORIZATION. DIGITAL MEDIA WILL BE CONFISCATED.

This was the first time I had ever seen the sign (or perhaps I missed it in years past). I was not about to let the X-men take my not-so-cheap Nikon. There were large, dykey gorilla security women everywhere I turned.

In addition, I actually did not see even one awful shmatteh, besides Sally Melville's self-patterning sock yarn legwarmers. (Come on, Sally. The '80s are so over and the legwarmers looked really tacky with the heeled boots. Manolo would cry at the Sally Melville lack of the taste.) It was, after all, 80+ degrees on Friday. Not conducive to wearing that Homespun poncho. Or maybe people are wising up. The true pieces of shit tended to be display garments at booths. I saw a beautiful lace shawl, several lovely cotton lace shells, as befitted the weather, and a few classic, discreet vests. All well done.

Unfortunately, the pictures that Carol S. took on her cell phone didn't come out well enough for publication. And even she didn't find that much to take.

So, as a consolation prize for no Gallery of Ghastlies this year, a special KC award for Ghastly Yarn of the Year goes to:

I suppose nobody's told Yummy Yarns that anything jelly is completely passe. To say the least, I am surprised that this is made in the U.S.

I would have marked it as a Japanese product. Of course, the Japanese would have made it edible and called it something like "Kreepy Happy Yarn."

I'm suggesting this as the perfect project for your Yummy Yarn.

The boa is a nice touch. Here's the free pattern if you can't resist. I know you have will power, though.

And no, you really can't eat this stuff. You can, however, aggravate your senses and your CTS at the same time by trying to knit with it. [Ed.: It's plastic, in case you haven't figured it out. And it comes in two weights--fine and bulky. Great for those plastic socks and ponchos.]

Stitches Market Statistical Analysis
or Why the Market Really Sucked This Year
The Market was really in sad, sad shape. First of all, there were unquestionably fewer vendors. In addition, some pretty major vendors who have always been at Stitches Market were glaringly absent. So where were:

• Wool Connection
• Cherry Tree Hill
• Black Water Abbey Yarns
• Crochet Guild of America
• Chester Farms
• Carodan Farm
• Cascade Yarns

and a bunch of other smaller vendors?

I happened to save my Market guide from 2004. Here's the statistics:

2004--114 vendors
2005--104 vendors

Number of vendors who showed in 2004 but not in 2005--43

Number of new vendors for 2005--28.

And it's not just that there were fewer vendors. The quality of vendors has sunk. As has the yarn being shown. Frankly, I could have ordered the books I bought via the internet. I only bought 2 skeins of Stretch Regia for Liz. Could have bought that on the internet as well.

Stitches is worth attending if you are a novice/advanced beginner and want to take classes or if you live a considerable distance from a yarn shop or if you have no access to the internet. As far as I'm concerned, it's a waste of time for me. I'm looking forward to Rhinebeck.

The Loom Has Loomed
It showed up via freight truck on Thursday.

In a big mother box. It's in the house now, resting. I have to start putting the heddles on it. Google "heddles." I can't explain it right now.

THHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEE Yankees Win
If you're from the NY area you know this is what John Sterling aka Jam Master J, the Yankees' radio announcer, says when the team wins. They won yesterday. John and I were at the game and I took this picture from the stairs going up to the subway, which is elevated in The Bronx.

I wants me some handy Lady Wears and rare Blanckets. Go Yanks!