Question about Dying...actual subject of a recent knitting list post...

Foodstuffs and dy(e)ing. If you read my Top Ten List of Overrated Knitting Fads, Kool-Aid dyeing was #10. But wait. I am remiss. Oh gentil parfit reder, I have overlooked the newest foodstuff dye to make one of the lists... J-E-L-L-O. And here's the recipe, somewhat edited:

1 package Jello
1 liter of water (or, if you prefer, simply use a 1-liter bottle of Coke, Pepsi, et al...adds fizz and a brownish hue to your dyebath)
1/4 cup of vinegar
1 tsp. salt
50 grams of 100% wool

Heat the entire disgusting mess to dissolve the Jello, then put the nice wool you are about to destroy into a microwaveable dish. Pour seething gunk over decent yarn. Zap in microwave for 5 minutes. Feed to family. What do they know?

Now, I always enjoy viewing the extensive collection of agar-less experiments that grow in my fridge. And I'm thinking, could that 3-week-old jar of spaghetti sauce that has, um, a Christmas-y look about it, possibly make a fabulous red dyestuff...with the little green hairy things adding a soupcon of fiber to my wool, creating a unique fashion yarn? And let's not forget DGS Ian's purple ketchup (with which he ices chocolate graham crackers...but I digress). My kitchen closet reveals even more potential dyes...an outdated can of salmon...for that fishy, peachy color; just mash salmon, pour over yarn, bake at 350 degrees until the stench fills entire house. A bottle of Gravymaster...a can of chocolate Slimfast...the possibilities are endless.

I can't wait to go to the supermarket on Saturday and scope out all the possible food-as-dye combinations: soy sauce and vanilla ice cream = light brown...Louisiana Hot Sauce and Sunny Dee-light = orange...Paul Newman's Italian Dressing and Doxsee clam juice = ecru, with little red flecks and small white lumps (the oil in the dressing replaces any lanolin lost in the microwaving). I don't have to worry about buying fattening foods anymore--I simply add them all to the dyebath, luxuriate in the cooking aroma, and avoid unwanted calories, while playing Dunk-A-Skein. Of course, there's not much one can offer to the knitters of petroleum-product yarns, but may I suggest a dyebath of No-Nox and Valvoline? And for blends, such as Wool-Ease, a combo of Paas Easter Egg dye and dry gas...accomodates both the wool and acrylic mix.

I must thank the KnitDweebs on the lists for inspiration...their creativity is matchless.