Friday, December 10, 2004

Best Quote I Heard All Day
It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.—Herman Melville

Being yourself is the surest way of preserving your originality and creativity, I believe.

The C Chromosome
Did you inherit your ability to knit and do other such like things?

I brought this up in Joe’s blog comments but I think it’s a rather interesting concept. Certainly, I inherited my bipolar disorder, since my paternal grandmother and aunt were most definitely untreated depressives, at the very least, along with my maternal grandfather, who went for weeks at a time without speaking to anyone.

And that’s about all heredity gave me. Neither of my grandmothers could cook, let alone knit. Both were a strange mix of Victorian mores and modern feminism, since they were both careerwomen but had rather typically turn-of-the-century views on everything else.

Although there is a story my mother tells about Grandma who during WWII decided to get all patriotic and knit for the troops. Her balaclava started on five needles and somehow ended up on two. That finished her off.

My mother learned to knit from their Irish housekeeper. No one in the family other than her did anything remotely creative.

However, since manic-depressives are generally creative people, I suppose I could consider my creativity inherited.

Name That Frou-Frou
Did you ever wonder who names yarn? And what possesses the yarn companies to come up with some of these names?

I mean, why call a yarn “Calmer”?

Does this mean that working with it will make you nod off? Does it mean that the yarn behaves its ass? Calmer than what?

This stuff is 75% cotton, 25% microfiber, made by Rowan. So I can presume that I will be calmer knitting this cotton blend because it won’t sag to the floor after knitting and I will thus avoid going into a rage because I was once again stupid enough to buy cotton? Eh?

Of course, then there’s Distrato, another cotton blend that I might consider buying, since the yarn company is at least appealing to my state of mind.

It does seem to me that the frou-frou yarns have the dopiest names. Eros. Zap. Zen. Fizz. Flirt. So the rule of thumb would be less than five letters so that your customers will be able to remember the name AND include at least one “Z” and optimally one “F.” Of course, adding “FX” to the yarn name really makes it hip.

And if you really want to charge extra, make it sound Italian, which the yarn probably is anyway. Gelato is one of my favorite yarn names.

I once wrote catalog copy for Lion Brand. (Yeah, I sold out. So bite me. They paid.) I’d probably enjoy being paid to come up with exciting, hip, young, identifiers for yarn companies.

Like the incredible new eyelash, Drivvello, a fabulous concoction of 50% recycled hairbrush material, 50% rayon. Comes in four unbelievable shades: YouGotSomeSplaininToDoLucy Red, Hedly Lamarr Brown, Darryl Hannah Yellow, and Goth Black. White flakes not included.

If you’re itching to knit something in a day (and believe me, you’ll be itching), Spazz, 99% regurgitated snakeskin/1% toxoid, works to a speedy 1 stitch per inch. Just think—you’re done before your cast on is finished. Is that fast enough? We thought so, which is why we’re including a free tube pattern with every purchase of Spazz. Tubes are the next hot, hip thing to knit and just think of what you can do with them!

OK, I’ll stop now. Enough is really enough. Besides, I have this feeling that just a few Tontant Weaders might like to add their own.

Danke Schoen
To everyone who has been enormously supportive during my ongoing push-me/pull-you, especially Kathy and Carol, who bring new meaning to the word “supportive.” Just so you know, I’m back on Lithium, although the shrink has determined that I am bipolar I rather than II—a distinctive graduation, I’m sure. Nice to know that you’re even crazier than first suspected.

I promise I’ll have pictures this weekend. I’ve just been too busy to take the time but the vest is coming along nicely, as is a scarf for John (he wants one, I’ll make one).

The rare and handy Roberts Christmas tree is waiting to be bought this weekend. Oh, and don’t forget: The Christmas Crapalong deadline is the 23rd, so get your entries in soon.

No comments: