Monday, September 13, 2010

Are We There Yet? Are We There Yet?

Best Quote I Heard All Day
Instant gratification takes too long--Carrie Fisher

I've got a list of my favorite bipolars and the former Princess Leia ranks high. Here are a few of my other favorite manics.

  • Stephen Fry
  • Ray Davies 
  • Vivien Leigh
  • Richard Dreyfuss
  • Mark Twain
  • Sting

Not to mention Abe Lincoln, Winston Churchill, Mozart, Vincent van Gogh, and a bunch of other writers, poets, musicians, and artists. Whenever I feel like shit, I think of these people and what they accomplished. And then there's Mel Gibson, who's a mess and a piss-poor poster boy for BP.

Gimme, Gimme, Gimme
As an "IT professional", I'm used to people wanting something immediately. This wretched disposition permeates our entire society, probably due to the rise of PCs and the internet. Sadly, it's invaded knitting to the point where I open a knitting catalog and practically every project is targeted towards beginners and those who HAVE to make something within two days.  Weekend projects are not my cup of arsenic.

My favorite quote comes from a former boss. "If you want it in the worst way, that's probably how you'll get it."

So true.

Books for the Patient
I just purchased "Knitted Lace Designs of Herbert Niebling" from Schoolhouse Press (bless them for publishing this and other wonderful, thoughtful books). If you want to challenge yourself, try one of his incredible lace designs.

This is definitely a lock-yourself-in-a-room knitting situation. I'm planning on doing one of these this fall. After which, I will design and wear a knitted straitjacket.

Garden State Sheep & Wool
For those of you who think the opening scenes of the Sopranos constitute the sum total of New Jersey, you're wrong. Jersey is still the Garden State, despite being the most densely populated of the 50.

GS S&W is a wonderful small show, with lots of local producers and a real rural ambience. I always go, to buy buttons from the button lady and something special. This year, I found some fabulous suri alpaca from WoodsEdge Wools, one of the largest alpaca farms in the country, located in Stockton, NJ.

And then there are the vintage buttons I bought. My favorites are these, circus motifs from the 1940s. They were a bit difficult to photograph.

Teabagger Knitter
Those of you who've been Tonstant Weaders know that I'm a liberal freethinker, and the hatred of these miserable simpletons who call themselves Teabaggers makes me pukified (I think Sarah Palin used that word recently).

I suspect that many KnitDweebs are Teabaggers. Simpletons whose brains are trapped in a vicious cycle of ignorance.

Teabagger knitting projects:
  • Prayer shawl with the words "Obama is a Muslem" worked in Fair Isle
  • Placard knitted in red, white, and blue acrylic, "Repeel Congress" the slogan
  • Felted placard tote bag
 Feel free to add your own Teabagger knitting project to the comments. Let's have some fuckin' fun with this!

Thank God there are no Teabagger or Teaparty groups on Ravelry. At least, none that I could find. Presumably, Teabagger knitters aren't very techo-savvy.

That's it for today. I'm busy knitting two cardigans for Logan and Colin, grandsons of my friends Bob and Jean. I'll probably publish the design--it's a raglan cardigan knit in the round in toddler sizes. I'll be using the circus buttons for them. Actually yanked enough Harrisville Shetland from the stash in burgundy and blue.

Rare and handy to work from the stash. I need to do that more often or I'll be starring on "Hoarders."

Be the skankiest, my skanks.


Anonymous said...

felted teabags; tea bags in the street use sense of the word of course.
marie in florida

Soo said...

You'll love knitting the Nieblings - when I finished my first one I spent an embarassing amount of time admiring it and feeling very clever.

And that was just for knitting it.

I can't imagine how clever Herbert must have felt designing the thing!

dianecus said...

Illusion knit of Levi Johnston in his Playgirl photo.

Red white and blue Red Heart running shorts matching those Sarah Palin sported in her Runner's World 'article'... Maybe shorts should be granny squares, on accounta she's a Granny?

Sharon said...

Ackrylic throw pillows/afghans (oops, did I say Afghan? I meant lap robe, not the terrorizers) to spruce up the underground bunker...

J. Kwiatkowski said...

gun cozies.
I just heard mention of that lace book, a few weeks ago. Part of me wants to challenge myself, but part of me says 'what are you going to do with lace, anyway?'

Barb B. said...

A tote bag that looks like a tea bag for carrying tea bags. A scarf of knitted tea bags joined together. A 3 peice Camo suit. A toilet paper roll cover that says "Sarah Rools".
This is too easy.
A sweater with Dont' Tred on Me worked on it in duplicate stitch.
A full size knitted moose.

On the knitting front, there are some slightly more challenging knits coming out (not up to the standard of that lace, but still... ) In fact Yarn Forward keeps sending out calls for "more challenging designs". There is hope!

judyssister said...

But yarn keeps getting bulkier and bulkier so that your project can be done in 5 minutes on really large needles.

Michelle said...

"I have been assimilated."

No wait that's for Beck fans.

Michelle said...

And involves too much of that refudiatin' book spelling.

Anonymous said...

I doubt that there are many teabaggers who knit... small minds don't have a lot of time for creative thinking. But if they did, I can see ponchos, lots of star-spangled ponchos, one for every member of the family (even the dog).

anne marie in philly said...

spouse suggests red/white/blue sox knit in super bulky ackrylak; stuff them with polyester; use them as ball gags starting with sarah, then glen, then rush, then...

poodleaccountant said...

There was a tea party like group on Ravelry called The Bunker Mentality. You might try Googling it for giggles.

Marilyn said...

Brilliant suggestions, Weaders! Anne Marie, your husband forgot to add Ann Coultergeist to the list--I love Keith Olbermann for that one.

Abbeysmum said...

Hope you and the Niebling have a deep and meaningful relationship soon.
I saw a book called "The Gossamer webs collection" on the net, it is knitted Russian lace, have no idea how well known this book is, but it looked wonderful.

Jan said...

Inspired by Delaware TEA party Senate candidate O'Donnell: Crocheted acrylic chastity belt to prevent masturbation. Because that promotes lust, and the Bible says lust is adultery.

Anonymous said...

Just found my the glad I found a kindred spirit who's humor and vocabulary mirrors mine! Also a proud (proud?) member of the BP tribe and my closet is opened a crack at a time and I'm peering out. But the crack is getting wider with age. Mostly due to those who need encouragement and occasional advice from one who knows. Not willing to be a poster child just yet...perhaps one day. Compulsive meditation and joy, and you are so right--all forms of creativity are often enhanced in those who are BP.

The teabaggers are hysterical in a sad, sad, way. The tin man, lion, scarecrow and let's not forget Dorothy, "liberals and Muslims and gays, oh my!" Do you think the disease helps with freedom from fear? I mean, we've seen darkness and most of us learned it is survivable. Given that, after all these years, not much scares me, except the big D. So I have to believe I've been bestowed a certain gift. Age brings desperately needed enlightenment and wisdom but is not so great for the tits & bum. It's a trade-off.

Marilyn said...

Pride in my disorder? Well, perhaps not pride but acceptance and glad that it fuels my creativity. BP tends to make people fearless in a bad way; however, with meds and some talk therapy, I've worked that fearlessness into an asset rather than a detriment. Welcome to the blog.

Susan said...

Agreed. Poor choice in words...I referenced fearlessness as pertains the teabaggers, etc., who push the fear genda...shameful.

Alas, no stranger to careless fearlessness! Self-awareness is key, yet sometimes downright exhausting to track. I forget to track. Good thing I was not so forgetful with other things in life like meds and birth control...

Lucky to have family & friend support to give me a nudge and a reminder to take my temperature when I seem a little outside the "zone." Sometimes the temperature taking is in the form of how productive I am with my knitting--sometimes a very tangible indicator.

Thanks for the welcome and I'll be sure to tune in...this blog puts a smile on my face.

Gauss said...

I must disagree with your first teabagger project. The Teabagger Knitdweeb cannot do fair isle: it's too complicated and takes too long and comes from Europe.

Anonymous said...

am an occasional reader of your blog. i had forgotten you had said you were bipolar.
so's my son, who is going through a bad phase with bad friends giving bad advice, and he doesn't want to hurt their feelings, so he does the bad things they recommend.
bless you or thank you for the reminder that there is a chance he can come out of it. and, yep, knitting and teaching is what keeps me from dropping napalm on lots of folks.
a different sharon

Anonymous said...

i am a knitter.
some of my best friends are teabaggers.

Kristin said...

Where do I start about Teabaggers? My PARENTS are Teabaggers and I finally had to make a pact with them that there will never be anymore political discussions at family functions, nor will Glen Beck be allowed on the television. Ugh! It's embarassing to hear them go on & on about the borders and how immigrants are stealing jobs. They actually believe (and have both my grandmothers scared to death) that the new health care system will advocate euthanasia. No matter how much I show them to the contrary. It just boggles my mind. I love my folks but I hate the Teabagger rhetoric they've been sucked into.

Teabagger Craft Projects
1. Go Home Immigrants sweater
2. Glen Beck velvet painting
3. Fair Isle with "Don't Tread On Me" motif
4. Post cosy - to prevent blisters from all the protest sign wavin'
5. "Congress Wants to Kill Seniors" blanket, with cable motif

Love the snark, Marilyn! Long team reader :)

FiberQat said...

Don't diss the libertarian knitters. They're out there making their intarsia red white and blue vests with the flag motifs and the big eagle on the back in time for the election. When they're done, they'll have matching dog sweaters made because everyone must be coordinated.

See ya at Rhinebeck!

Mandy said...

I have tried knitting Niebling before and total disaster ensued, but i might try again now that my skills are a lot better... I too want to finish one so I can admire it and feel clever lol! there is no better feeling.

Mel said...

I went to see Mr. Fry at Hahvahd Tuesday night. I was lucky enough to have the night off, and he most assuredly did not disappoint. Wonderful, incredible, spectacular individual.