Thursday, December 22, 2005

Best Quote I Heard All Day
I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye.--Jack Handy

If Poopdeck Pappy was Popeye's father, who was his mother? Mizzenmast Mammy?

That's all I can stands, 'cause I can't stands no more!
On the rare occasion that I read the Knit List in its now excruciatingly moderated form, there are still some Nuggets of Informed Ignorance that shine through. Like this one from the latest digest, no doubt written by an expert in her own mind:

I explained to my husband that knitting was actually originated with men, explained about fishermen and how they would knit they're family logo into sweaters so if their bodies were found while at sea they could be identified. (Morbid thought I know however nonetheless true.)

I'm totally enamored of the phrase "knitting was originated with men," wording that so completely murders the English language to the point that it's an indictable offense. The only fishing family known to have had a "logo" is perhaps the Macy family.

But I can't believe that this old chestnut about Aran knitting, so completely disproved by Richard Rutt, is still making the rounds.

Talk about an urban knitting legend. This one surely dies a slow, agonizing death.

I've written about Heinz Kiewe before. Kiewe started this nonsense and Rutt ended it. Richard Rutt should be required reading for all new knitters who plan to advance beyond Fun Fur scarves.

It would be hoped that someone would post an explanation to this moron that no, the patterns have nothing to do with dead fisherman. Of course, you'll never read it on the Knit List, thanks to the equally moronic List Moms.

Grateful Dead
If you read my archived entry on Heinz Kiewe, you'll be happy to know, as I was, that the X-men and their staff certainly do not read this blog. The Knitter's Pro List is still asking dear dead Heinz to submit a short bio. He's just as dead as he was in February 2004, when I pointed this out. Now, it might be nice if Heinz rose from the grave, Lazaruslike, and submitted a bio. Just sayin'.

(Oh, and Ted, they're looking for a short bio from you too. And I know you're itching to submit one. Because you're not dead.)

There are a few other dead knitting writers/designers on this list. Can you find 'em all, kids?

I'll Trade Ya One Nicky Epstein for Two EZs
You know, when I was a kid and growing up in an all-boy neighborhood, I chewed a lot of bubblegum and saved those dopey baseball cards that are now probably worth more than I care to imagine.

So, since we all know the KnitDweebs buy anything that says "Yarn" or "Knitting" or both on the label, I've come up with a really neat product and I pity the fool who steals this copyrighted idea.

Knitting designer trading cards.

You know you want 'em.

Think I went all soft on you in the last entry? Think again.

Mama Said There'll Be Days Like This
Don't forget, tomorrow is the deadline for the Christmas Crap-along. That esteemed panel of judges, the Wolverinas, is going to cast their ballots, as will I. The winner and runners-up will be published on Saturday, along with their very own words about their creations.

So be rare, be handy and get your submissions in.

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