Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Best Quote I Heard All Day
Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids--Bill Maher

Tomorrow, April 4, is QueerJoe's birthday. Please go to his blog and leave happy birthday wishes for the hits-whore. He'll be watching his stats counter all day.

I see that there have been a lot of new readers. That's great. Lia asked, "Who's the Tiny Diva?" Although it was answered, I'm guessing that many of my references may leave some readers in the dark.

So here's the KC's official glossary of terms that I use frequently. Some to disparage those in need of it.

  • The X-men - Alexis and David Xenakis, mutilators of Knitter's magazine
  • DragonBoy - Rick Mondragon, fashion disaster and blue-pencil wannabe for Knitter's
  • KnitDweebs - The unknowing, the uncaring, and the clueless. Credentials include publicly announced Random Acts of Kindness, overt ego-enhancing charity knitting, an aversion to Google, and a predilection for petroleum-based yarn.
  • Tiny Diva - The frenetic, pulsating, and frequently pink Fun-Fur clad Lily Chin
  • Vague - Vogue Knitting (I don't necessarily take credit for this one.)
  • The Wolverinas - my hoodlum knitting friends, who include the aforementioned birthday boy, Kathy Merrick, Selma the Axe-Murderess, Carol S., Lisa the Human Gaydar, Franklin, Liza Prior Lucy, and the inimitable Loopy
  • The Punk Princess - granddaughter Liz
  • The Scrap Curmudgeon - My sister Karen, who just can't seem to come up with an original handle for herself

I know the Wolvies could add more. They may, if they like.

Canada Redux
I promise never again to make fun of "aboot" et al. However, stop being so fucking sensitive, my dear Canadian friends. No one gets more abuse than a New Jerseyan. Not even Canadians, eh?

If you live in New Jersey, and I have many readers who do, you know that most people's image of NJ is the Turnpike and all other opening sequences of the Sopranos. And if you land at Newark Liberty Airport, that's what you see.

As for my accent, bite me. So I say "cawfee" and use other horrific pronounciations. Fuck that. At least I'm articulate. Besides, every time I hear Loopy on the phone, I get audio hallucinations of Ann Landers. (Now I'm gonna get it.)

There's still plenty of farmland here. We can only pray that the current housing market decline will keep it that way.

Open Mike Tuesday
I guess everyone liked last week's, so I'm going to make it a regular feature. That is, as regular as I make anything. Not much going on with fiber. I'm in stasis, dontcha know. Haven't done a damned thing in the past two days, not a stitch to be discussed. Probably more on the weekend.

So here's your topic:

The one knitting designer or "personality" up whose ass you'd most like to stick a hot knitting needle.

Go for it. And gay boys, let's answer this in an appropriate manner, OK? I can almost hear Franklin now.

If you have a topic you'd like to see in this space, let me know. I'll entertain it.

Make sure it's rare and handy, especially if you're new to the blog. Because the old-timers will tell you what happens if it isn't.

Update: First--if you didn't get the Letterman April Fool's joke, don't admit it publicly. Second, today we'll finally know who DannieLynn's father is. I'm breathless with anticipation.

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