Friday, May 02, 2008

When I Die, I'm Coming Back as Julie Andrews

Best Quote I Heard All Day
When it's my turn to march up to glory
I'm gonna have one hell of a story--Dixie Chicks, Sin Wagon

I'm feeling quite sinful these days. As if I don't, as a rule. However, it's an enjoyable state of sin. Certainly not a state of grace.

Julie Andrews. Here's a trivia question for you. What movie, featuring two British comedians, had one of them saying "Julie Andrews" to get out of demonic trouble?

My sister knows the answer to this so she must recuse herself. Got it, Kar? Shut the fuck up and let everyone sweat this one. I know you know.

Franklin's Tower
I know I'm almost two weeks behind myself but I did have a fabulous time down in Kennett Square with Carol, Franklin, Jacqui, and a bunch of readers who showed up at Jacqui's wonderful shop, Woolgathering.

The lovely Jacqui had lots of caloric stuff to eat, as well as a shop filled with absolutely finest kind yarn. I'll definitely make the trip again, just to hang out with her.

The crowds were fierce. It was take-a-number time, well organized but truly heads above waiting at the deli counter.

And then, of course, was my hard-working gay son, gracious to all, in a photographic Zen mode. I believe the final count was 135 knitters.

I did ask him what the fuck he was going to do with this "scarf" that is of Brobdingagian proportions. He's not sure yet but I would think that the Smithsonian Institution might like to have it for America's Attic.

Looks like a roll of knitted toilet paper. Wait. This could be a concept that would stand up to knitted uteri, knitted cocks, knitted eyeballs, ad nauseam. Go forth and spread the idea. Someone will do it. You know they will.

Almost on a par with the knitted Elvis wigs, methinks.

Anyway, we had a wonderful time. I don't know why I didn't get a picture of Sissyboo Deux, Carol. Sweetie, I am so sorry! You eluded my lens. Damn. But gang, her book is exquisite. I saw the advance copy and this belongs in everyone's library. Only one month to go before it's out.

Buy it. Or else.

By the way, Franklin darling, were your parents Deadheads? I need to know.

Obligatory Knitting Shit
Still chugging away on the shawl. I was very surprised to have a number of people at Wool Gathering identify the yarn correctly as Black Pearl.

In fact, one person was working on a piece (I believe it was a Clapotis, but my memory sucks) using Black Pearl and it was astonishing how different the color saturation was. The purples in hers were bright. Mine are more muted.

This is a stupidly simple pattern. The challenge will come in easing the edging around the border. I remember Ted angsting about this. I'm not going to angst but I will write about it. This is a maneuver that takes some thought.

Pattern Skill Ratings
Longtime readers know how I feel about this crap. Would my first sweater have been an Aran had it been marked "Expert"? Probably, because I ignore warnings, unless they pertain to hazardous materials and men.

Rather, I think it would be far more helpful to develop a meaningful system of rating, one that pertains to taste.

  1. KnitDweeb--this category contains warshcloths, ponchos, pompom'ed anything, aimless garter stitch modular knitting, mocsox, knitted coasters and beercan cozies. Working with Fun Fur is a prerequisite.

  2. GlitzGrrrllls--this category contains any item made from yarn by an Italian company, preferably either a too-short bolero or a ghastly evening bag with matching beanie.

  3. FiberSnots--this category is specifically for perpetual Koigu users. Give it a break, it ain't that fucking wonderful. Nor are the designs that go with it.

  4. OhNaturellas--this category pertains to those who have bought into the eco-friendly yarn marketing. Garments include any shapeless schmatteh, including drop-shoulder kimonos. Please, someone tell these knitters that all natural fibers are "eco-friendly."

  5. DaRestOfUs--this category belongs to all knitters who are fearless, try to stick to good quality yarns, and don't avoid a challenge. And who actually read the directions at least three times and swatch, too.
OK, enough of that. Honestly, I've been guilty of all five categories at any given time in my years of knitting. But at least I learned a little bit from experience.

Those of you who know me personally know that I'm highly political, highly critical of the sorry path this country has taken under the leadership of a mentally challenged, blinded individual and his evil Ann Sullivan, the Dickster.

I am an Obama supporter, after months of watching both him and Clinton and weighing each of them carefully. I believe he is a man of honor, of thought, of responsibility, and above all, highly intelligent with a will to listen. I will not vote for Hillary or McCain. I do not believe either of them has or will shaken the dirty dust of DC from their respective boots.

A change you can believe in. I'm no one's fool. I believe, however, that we can change and we must, to survive. In this time of economic upheaval, we need to hang tight and believe in ourselves. And this self-entitlement that is epidemic among many Americans, particularly the younger ones, needs to be swapped for the old "can-do" of my parents' generation. It stood them in good stead. They were indeed rare and handy.

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