Walk This Way. Out the Door.

Best Quote I Heard All Day
It's a rather rude gesture, but at least it's clear what you mean -- Katharine Hepburn

Time and time again, you hear and read about rude yarn shop owners. What you don't hear about often are the rude customers. This past week, an obnoxious customer, a woman who created a scene in my favorite yarn shop, was gently asked by the owner to leave and not come back. I didn't witness this particular incident but I've seen it many times before, a demanding customer who thinks she's the only knitter in the store needing help NOW. Never mind that there are other people ahead of her.

KC's HOW TO BE A GOOD YARN SHOP CUSTOMER

1. If your kids can't behave, don't bring them into the shop. Leave them home.
2. Wait your turn patiently.
3. Don't pull out piles of skeins without putting them back neatly. The same goes for books.
4. Don't ask for a refund on yarn that A) you bought from the shop three years ago or B) that you bought elsewhere.
5. Use your gift certificate within the timeframe, which is now two years. Don't demand cash.
6. Read the shop's return policies--most stores have them posted--and don't bitch about them.
7. If you're sitting around a table and someone needs help while the store folks are busy, lend a hand.
8. If you disagree with the shop owner, discuss it like an adult. Don't make a scene in the store. It only makes you look like a fuckface.
9. Don't discuss politics or religion during the shop's knitting group get-together.
10. Remember that running a yarn shop is a business, not a free advice service. Buy something from your yarn shop on a regular basis.

 Question of the Week
So, based on the above, what's the worst customer behavior you've ever seen in a yarn shop? Share your stories in the comments.

Obligatory Knitting Shit
I'm still cranking away on the Wonderland cape. Two skeins down, two to go. I'm not yet tired of the colorway, either. It's Water Hyacinth--I guess the sky blue is the water.

I bought more Blue Heron for an original lace shawl--Deep Water Silver. This is a new one from BH and lovely. I'm designing lace star motifs for the shawl. A fun project.

Working a sock design too, and preparing for my fall workshops. And still looking for a real job, although I do have a phone interview on Monday with a large advertising media group in NYC. I'm keeping myself busy with my knitting and spinning projects but making money is rather more important. Money--these days, rare and handy. More next week, skanks. Time to go out to play with Countess von Puppelah.

Live From New Jersey! It's KC Crap Live!

Best Quote I Heard All Day
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.--Dorothy Parker

I figured it was time for a quote from my favorite Jersey Girl, the divine Mrs. Parker.  Did you know Dot was an avid knitter? Reviewing a play, she said, "If you don't knit, bring a good book."

Tonstant Weaders--that's a Dot term, used when she reviewed an AA Milne book, one I'm sure you all know well: " It is that word 'hunny,' my darlings, that marks the first place in The House at Pooh Corner at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up."

I like to think that were she still with us, Dot would appreciate "KnitDweebs," "warshcloths," "X-Men," "Tiny Diva."


VK LIVE!
For the first time ever, I am going to take some knitting workshops.  Vogue Knitting Live, which makes Stitches look like the KnitDweebs' Carnival, has a phenomenal list of top knitting instructors (and a few duds, but fortunately not the two psycho designers I know and loathe).

As much as I hate living in Sopranoland--yes, I live around the corner from Pizzaland, a half-mile away from Satriale's Pork Store (torn down a few years ago), and close enough to the Jersey Turnpike and the Lincoln Tunnel to see all the landmarks in the opening sequence--living six miles from NYC is a big plus. I don't go to the city often these days, having been there/done that for my entire life. I'll be taking classes with Shirley Paden, Nancy Bush, Meg Swansen and Amy Detjen, and Kristin Nicholas, lectures by Nicky Epstein and Sally Melville.

I hope I don't fidget in class. If I do, the instructor is welcome to rap my knuckles. No, I didn't go to parochial school. Not a Catholic, but a lapsed Lutheran who was once caught chewing gum during the service.  Pastor Berkobin, that miserable old German, made me stand up in front of the congregation and decided it was time to make an example of me as a naughty girl.

Naughty girl. The story of my fucking life. When he first met my mother, Jerry asked her, "What kind of kid was Marilyn?"  My mother turns, gives me the Look, and says, "Difficult." Uh huh.

Obligatory Knitting Shit
Besides fucking around with charting a Shetland lace shawl, I've been working a new design I call the Wonderland Hooded Stole, using one of my favorite yarns, Blue Heron Rayon Metallic. My friend Patty was nice enough to model the scarf I designed with Rayon Metallic, Summer Meadow. I like real people as models. This will be available on my Etsy site once I get it all set up, as well as the Wonderland Hooded Stole.

The Wonderland Hooded Stole is coming along nicely. I love working with this shit!

I've discovered that the hood of my Elantra is the perfect place to shoot lace projects. Silver car, feh. I miss my purple Neon, the first new car I ever owned. Silver is so fucking boring...but I got a good price for the car so I live with the blandness.

The next design project is the Gansey socks redo. I know everyone wants me to offer multiple sizes but that may not happen, based on the stitch pattern repeats. I'll have to work it out.

Doing the Etsy thing seems to be a good idea. I'm not trying to make a living from my designs but I do want a coupla bucks for them. I'll be putting up freebies here, though, like I did with Leaves of Grass.

Farewell, Cleo
Those of you who are on my FaceBook Friends list know that I lost my beloved cat Cleo a few weeks ago.  Cleo became ill very suddenly, I rushed her to the vet's early on a Saturday morning, and it turned out that she had mammary tumors that had metastasized to her brain. The poor baby couldn't stand up. So I made that hard decision, stroked her and loved her up as the vet euthanized her. I was, and still am, heartbroken. I only had Cleo for five years, being her third owner. But she and I had that special, special bond. I'll probably get another cat. My friend Monica has one she'd like to give me. We'll see.


Question of the Week
I stole this from the Spin-Off e-mail newsletter because it made me think. Did you craft as a child? My mother Ellie, who taught me to knit, encouraged me to make things when I was very young, giving me modeling clay and crayons at age 3, a loop loom for potholders at 4, and by 5, I was making my own Christmas presents for my grandparents.

Mom was always challenged to keep me busy because I was an overactive kid, always getting into shit, especially her knitting bag. I loved the bright colors of the markers and would pocket one or two. Her darning egg, which I doubt she ever used, was fascinating. I remember her making a beautiful beaded collar to wear with her hand-knitted Chanel suit when she went to the opera. I wanted those fucking beads! Books, music, and making shit always keep me out of trouble, to this day. Were you a crafty kid? Tell us in the comments.


You Asked For It, Skanks!
The other day, I was sitting out in the yard with my iPod Nano, my knitting, and Sam, aka Countess von Puppelah. (Jerry's been calling her Puppelah from the day we got her, so he gets credit.)  It dawned on me that the Nano has a video camera. So I got an idea. Yeah. Take a video so that readers who haven't ever met me in person will get an idea of who I really am.

My hair is a mess, no makeup. Fuck, I look old. Well, so be it. I'm alive and still kicking butt. The video is totally ad libbed. I debated putting it up but then decided fuck it, up it goes. As Dot says in the quote, take me or leave me.

Rare and handy? Well, as Liz used to say, "maybe yes, maybe no."

Luddites Unite!

Best Quote I Heard All Day
Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.--Mark Twain.

Even though I am a FaceBook and Ravelry devotee, I'm convinced that there is TMI, as my daughter Corinne says.

Too much fucking information. And too little actual interpersonal connection these days. When was the last time you truly sat down with a good friend and talked about life, love, and the pursuit of happiness? I'm feeling the need to see the two most important friends from my childhood--Dottie and Peggy. The older I get, the more important these women are to me. The three of us share deep experiences--teenage heartbreak, fucked-up marriages (them, not me), and the births of our children.

It's time to get real, and trash the cyber connection.

Too Much Shit!
Have you ever really analyzed why you knit or spin? And why you have a stash? Mine is now out of control. When you start stumbling over stash yarn that you loved at first sight, had to buy, but whose sudden reappearance is a shockerooni--"Holy shit, where did THIS come from?"--what does that say about you?

With me, knitting and my stash has always been the sanity lifeline. I always said, if I stop knitting, get me to the hospital asap. Never mind that knitting allows me to make stuff I can use. That's the least of it. If my focus goes haywire, knitting always brings me back to the real world, fiber provides color and comfort, and a new design project gives me great anticipation and joy. Knitting is the "lover" that never disappoints.

That said, no, I'm not giving away any of my stash. Yet. If I do, it will go to nursing homes, not to friends. Or I'll sell it at the next Stash sale at Stix-n-Stitches.

Wheel On, Baby
So I've been spinning a shitload of silk for the Tour de Fleece. I posted pictures twice on my Ravelry team discussion boards but frankly, there's so many people putting up pictures, I'm thinking it's a waste of time. I'm on schedule with the silk, though.

Here's the first week's effort.

This is the first of the two 2-oz. tops that I have.

Silk can be a bitch to spin. Not recommended for beginners. Top can become very compressed, due to dye processing, and this top has needed a fair amount of pre-drafting in preparation for spinning. I carefully open up the fiber and use only a very thin strip of the top. I don't spin from the fold, usually, because I find annoying.

Silk can also be very tough on the fingers. I hold the fiber in my right hand, control the twist with my left hand thumb and index finger for my worsted draw. The tip of my index finger, through which the fiber slides, is feeling a bit sore. Today is a TdF rest day but I'll probably do some spinning anyway because that's my daily evening routine.

Obligatory and Ubiquitous Knitting Shit
I'm so glad the Punk Princess is going to college 15 minutes from my house because she's my sock model. On Wednesday, she's providing her feet for a couple of sock designs, including the Leaves of Grass redo.

I haven't felt like designing anything other than socks lately, probably because it's too fucking hot.

Longtime readers might remember this Gansey sock I designed.

I recently found the chart for this, so I'm going to redo it, size it for children, women, and men, and then publish it.

The Leaves of Grass sock will be available next week via Ravelry and as a download here. Tontant Weader Kat is doing it toe-up so I may rework the chart and directions for toe-up at some point. (Kat also got the answer to who sang "Hot, Hot, Hot"--Buster Poindexter.

Now, the question of the week is: Which do you prefer? Cuff down or toe up?

Lately I've been getting into toe-up, especially now that I've learned Judy's Magic Cast-on. Talk about rare and handy. This is the kind of contribution to knitting that I've been talking about. Is Judy a knitting "celeb"? No, she's a generous person who's given knitters a solution that is close to i-cord in value. However, should she write a book, I'd buy it, or make a personal appearance, I'd love to meet her.

Do you recall who invented i-cord? And what the "i" stands for? Go for it, skanks.

Sycophantastic! Knitting Kiss-asses Rule!

Best Quote I Heard All Day
I don't like ass kissers, flag wavers or team players. I like people who buck the system. Individualists.--George Carlin

The day Carlin died, I wept. Bill Maher has taken his place in many ways but this quote from George says it all.

Haven't been much in the mood to post recently but I'm gonna get back onto a writing schedule. I'm spending way too much time on FaceBook. So, let's continue with my rant, eh? Haven't ranted in a while.

Lackey Love
Lately, I've become more aware of how many toadies the minor world of knitting has created. Including people I thought were above prostrating themselves at the feet of knitting "celebrities." Or who view themselves as such, perhaps because they've had something published and had their asses kissed.

"Oooh, oooh, oooh, I loooovve that incredible mess of yarn that you call a garment." Fuck ya. Everyone's a fucking designer these days. I design...for myself. If you like it, great. If not, it ain't gonna change my life.

Let's take the Wayback Machine and look at the original true stellar knitters. Elizabeth Zimmermann, no argument there. Barbara Walker, Barbara Abbey, Maggie Righetti, Ida Riley Duncan, Gladys Thompson, Mary Thomas, Mary Walker Phillips, James Norbury, Marianne Kinzel--these are the people from whom I learned, and whose books are well loved and well used.

If there were no other knitting books available, you could learn what you needed to know from these august writers. God knows I did. These writers taught me everything.

As for spinning, that's a world less filled with sycophants. And a world with far fewer stars. I learned how to spin from Mabel Ross's "Essentials of Spinning" and Lee Raven's book "Hands On Spinning." Then came Priscilla Gibson-Roberts and Abby Franquemont for spindling. Any other spinning books are simply icing on the cake.

These days, too many people are clamoring for star status. So who are the stellar knitters these days? People who actually contribute to the body of knitting knowledge: Shirley Paden, Kaffe Fassett, Nancy Bush, Cat Bordhi, Ann Budd, Marianne Isager, Nicky Epstein, people like these. The rest of the "celebs" need to disappear, put their egos into perspective, and STFU.

And what wid every designer now having their own yarn line? WTF? Frankly, there is too much yarn out there as it is. Do we really need yet another line of yarn? I don't think so. That said, here's my new line of KC Idiot-proof yarn, specially milled for me by the local hardware store.

• Fuck You Red
• Kiss My Ass Orange
• Bite Me Blue
• WTF White
• Skanky Silver
• Gobsmacked Green
• Asswipe Aqua

 More colors to come, Tontant Weaders welcome to submit their ideas in the comments. Heh.

Obligatory Knitting Shit
So, yeah, I'm still out of work but knitting and spinning away.

One thing I've realized from talking to other knitters at Stix-n-Stitches, my local yarn hangout, is that people really don't want to work complex designs.  What they want is simple shit that looks good. So I've been working on a series of designs I call "Stoopid TV Knitting". The sock below, knit with Carol's wonderful Black Bunny Fibers SoftSilk 50% merino/50% silk sock yarn, is a 6-round, 4-stitch repeat.

All I need to do is finish the second one and jam the pair onto the Punk Princess's teeny feet so I can photograph them properly.

Evening is spinning time.

More Black Bunny Fiber--this fabulous 50% Blue-faced Leicester/50% silk has been incredible to spin. Have you figured out that I'm a big BBF fan? Carol is one of the finest dyers, with great taste in fiber. You can't go wrong with her stuff.

Punk Princess Time
My baby girl isn't much of a baby anymore. She's starting college in September, accepted into Montclair State University's BFA program. She's quite the artist. This is one of my favorite pieces from her senior art show.

Her senior project theme was music. Each senior had to produce 24 pieces for the year, then design their own booth for the show.

The Four Gens: Me, Liz, daughter Corinne, and my everlovin' Mammy, who'll be 87 in August. And still puts knitters half her age to shame. A rare and handy group, no?

I promise, I'll be writing every week now. My 8th blog anniversary is next month and I'll be damned if I let this blog go down the tubes. Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.

Hope I Die Before I Get Old

Best Quote I Heard All Day

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity--Tom Stoppard

I'm starting my countdown to 60. Less than three months to go. Gack. Well, that's the age I'll be according to my birth certificate. Given that my mammy is going to be 87 in August and still knits lace, I have no reason to angst about it.

Teaching the Old Bitch New Tricks

For a long time, I felt that using the Magic Loop technique to replace my dps was a waste of time. I tried it a couple of years ago and hated it.

Now, designing a pair of socks that I've named Naughty Nudge Nudge, I found that the lace pattern I'm using for the body is a royal pain in the ass if done on dps. It's a 6-stitch repeat but decreases land on the needle junctions on the instep. Shifting stitches from one needle to another sucks. Feh. I ended up putting it on the instep only. That made me quite unhappy.

So I decided to give ML another try. And still hated it. However, the two circs technique was something I could live with. I tried it out on a pair of plain vanilla socks. The two socks are shown below--I was too lazy to go downstairs and get my Canon, so bite me. I used my cellphone camera.

Needless to say, I'm ripping out NNN and starting over.

My point--Never say "never" when it comes to shit. I'm not ditching dps but using the two circs will allow me to use my lace pattern throughout the sock, rather than simply on the instep. I actually like this method.

Sillybus

I'm working up some workshops for Sheila at Stix-n-Stitches. Finishing, Lace 101, Knitting Clinic, Spindling for Beginners, to start. Sheila figures she'll open the shop on Sundays so I can teach. I love this place. It's more than just a local yarn shop. Sheila, Patty, Monica, and the other women who work there are my kind of wimmens. I've been loitering there every Saturday afternoon. Does the soul good. I enjoy helping the beginners--despite what you may think, I love novice knitters. They're like blank pages open to ideas.

Obligatory Knitting Shit

Other than the NNN socks, I've started recharting Jerry's sweater and blocked out the Crayon Madness set. Haven't gotten to spinning yet this week. However, I did buy some lovely Harrisville Shetland for an upcoming lace shawl. Yes, a bit heavier than usual but honestly, I wear my heavier shawls more often than my laceweights.

I don't see submitting anything to the mainstream magazines. For one, I don't want an editor dictating what yarn and colors I use. And second, I would rather sell my patterns online. If an editor would let me do what I do, then I might rethink it.

Knitting News

I was thrilled to see that Schoolhouse Press is publishing Ron Schweitzer's patterns. For those of you who are not familiar with Ron's wonderful Fair Isle designs, take a look at his Flowers of Life. I've never made one of his designs but they are all truly lovely.

Eight Years and Counting

Yesterday was the 8th anniversary of Jimmy's death. I don't generally dwell on it but I don't forget it, either. It was arguably the worst day of my life but there has been much joy since then. It also means that this blog is approaching its 8th anniversary. Jeez. Back then, there were very few knitting blogs. When I started, there were maybe 100 of them, some of which are long gone.

I wonder how much longer blogs will exist. With the birth of FaceBook, Ravelry, and other social networks, blogs may become obsolete. I know I update my FB status every day, pretty much. I doubt that blogs will go away entirely but instant gratification is truly the bane of our time. To some degree, I enjoy the immediacy. And to another degree, I recall the time before faxes when you had to wait for what you wanted or needed. The instant gratification syndrome has infected our world. As my former boss Pat Conway always said, "If you want it in the worst way, that's probably how you'll get it."

A rare but handy philosophy, indeed.

P.S. Haloscan, the service I have used for comments, is going out of business. They've cut a deal with a service called Echo so I've transferred over to Echo. A few people have told me that they've had problems loading my page recently--the page loads but then aborts. If you've had that problem, drop me a line so I can figure out how many readers have been affected. Danke.

Redundancy Rules!

Best Quote I Heard All Day
Unemployment is capitalism's way of getting you to plant a garden. --Orson Scott Card

That's right, gang. I'm out of work. Well, out of a job but certainly never out of work.

Fiberality Designs
This is now my reality. Fiberality. I've been developing several designs over the past few months, figuring that I would design, write, and teach once I retired in a few years. Given the current economy, that may have come to fulmination.

My contract was not renewed. Ask me if I give a shit. Honestly, I wasn't terribly happy with the job--the people there weren't any I ever cared to bother with, other than very casually. Plus, the company never took full advantage of my skills, training and graphic design. Frankly, corporate America is what it is. A cesspool, mostly. Filled with gawd-awful jargon and poor English, combined with severely inflated egos.

Check this out.
This is a nifty ribbed slip-stitch pattern in Classic Elite Moorland that I've used in Jeremiah's Scarf and Hat set. And then there's Crayon Madness, a lace scarf and mitts set made from Mini Mochi. Today's design is Naughty Nudge Nudge socks, black ruffle and shocking pink lace. Next will be a reworking of Jerry's Aran sweater design, done in Louet Gems Merino. More to come. My brain is cooking.

I'm enjoying the directions writing too. Far more satisfying technical writing than what I had been doing. These won't be your mother's boring directions, I promise. I plan to publish my stuff on Patternfish, as well as selling it on my Fiberality web site, which I'm in the process of developing.

If you're not familiar with Patternfish, go have a look-see. It's an excellent place. More than 4,000 patterns, so you're bound to find something. And designers you know and love, like Veronique Avery, Beth Brown-Reinsel, my pals Kristin Nicholas and Carol Sulcoski, Candace Eisner Strick, and lots more. The search engine is outstanding.

Stix Sessions
Will be teaching at friend Sheila's yarn shop, Stix-n-Stitches. A finishing class, a knitting clinic, a beginner spindling class, to start. I'd love to teach some kids, too. When I was in the shop this past Saturday, I met two young girls, sisters, around 8 and 11, who attend a Waldorf school. The 8-year-old was walking and knitting away on her scarf. Amazing kid. She was zipping right through the garter stitch, using some pretty hand-dyed worsted weight. Her sister knits socks. Whoa.

Obligatory Knitting Shit
Well, I've sort of organized my workroom now that I'm completely out of PA, thank God. Just putting away 200+ knitting, spinning, and weaving books was a gigunda pain in the ass. I need to update LibraryThing because I have added considerably to the list.

Nice to see that She-Whose-Name-Cannot-Be-Spoken's Fair Isle book has been reprinted. Along with Sweaters from Camp and Ann Feitelson's The Art of Fair Isle Knitting, it's a must-have if you're interested in doing this.

It's sad that we'll never see the other books reprinted. My favorite, Stillwater, goes for $128 on eBay, Pacific Coast Highway for $199. In the Hebrides goes for $199 too.

Anyway, enough said. Time to get back to work. The most rare and handy thing I've ever found to do. And Happy New Year, by the way. I'll be posting a lot more, looks like.

She's back...mostly.

Best Quote I Heard All Day

As I get older, I just prefer to knit—Tracey Ullman

Right, Tracey. A true celebrity knitter…maybe. Somehow, I think she really can knit well. (Certainly Goldie Hawn is an experienced knitter. The rest—who gives a fuck.)

Except as I get older, it seems as if I keep adding other crap to my repertoire. Besides spinning and weaving, I can embroider and quilt. And sew, if I ever get my Bernina back from daughter Jenn, who designs her own medieval costumes for her SCA (Society for Creative Anachronisms) events.

There’s not enough fucking time. Literally.

I’m finally back up and running, as long as I'm in NJ. I'll be moved in by the 30th. Until then, I won't be uploading any pictures. It’s been tough to function without internet at home. At work, they have it so locked down, as they should, that the best I can do is write a blog entry and save it until I can get it up on Blogger. Those of you familiar with WebSense, which allows network administrators to control where and what you can see on the web, know that blogs, social networks, and of course, nasty pictures, are banned. So I’ve relied on my BlackBerry to read e-mail and do FaceBook. Feh.

Mammy Update

She’s doing very well. Off to get her lymphoma zapped and her prognosis is excellent—she’s feeling quite chipper. Let’s put it this way, she’s busy knitting. told her that my readers sent her get well wishes. She doesn’t quite get what I do, either here or at work, but she did appreciate your kind thoughts.

Rhinebeck Feh

I have to say, I was not exceptionally thrilled about Rhinebeck this year. I barely saw anyone, other than Mel and David at their booth, Joe for a split second, Lorraine for a little while longer, Sean for another split second, Ted, Carol, Laura, and a few other guys from Easton Mountain whose names I’ve sadly forgotten.

Who I missed seeing:

• My dearest Lee Ann Balazuc, who couldn’t make it again this year. Dude, if you don’t fucking show up next year, I swear I’ll drive up and kidnap you, Spiff, and Twinkle.
• Veronik Avery, with whom I always enjoy chatting. Carol did give me some wonderful samples of her new St. Denis yarn. But still…I wish I’d seen her.
• Mindy Soucek—I really, really felt bad that we didn’t run into each other. Mindy is very special to me.
• Fredda Peritz—missed you, woman!
• Lars Raines—I know, it’s tough for him with his insane schedule.
• BJ Restropo—Beej, where WERE you???
• Cheryl Anderson, who I wanted to meet very much.

Oh well. I did have Jerry with me but I told him that next year he stays home. Let’s face it, when you drag your significant other to these yarn/fiber extravaganzas, it’s a drag on you and on your love. Better he should stay home and watch some movies. I took Jimmy to Stitches once, years ago, and swore I would never take him again. You’d think I would have learned? Nope. So next year, I’ll do my one-day run on my own.

What I bought:

I was on the lookout for fiber other than merino, which seemed to be the overwhelming choice at MD S&W. I was rewarded at Rhinebeck, buying some various fibers. Silk, of course. I can’t resist Chasing Rainbows. Skanska had no cormo, sadly. But I did find some nifty dyed targee at Carolina Homespun, along with a little bit of pygora to sample. And then, there were the bags of mohair/merino.

My bad. I bought two more Golding spindles. I love the ones I already have and have been spinning this nice Corriedale on my little Golding spindle. The Russian hand-painted inset spindles are my favorites—I’m starting to collect them. Look at it this way—these days, I’m making plenty of bucks and I can afford to buy them. Besides all the “I’m going to be 60 and I’d better smell the roses” nonsense, having a lovely spindle in my hands makes me spin more.

So much for Rhinebeck this year. I will not go to MD again.

Joy of Sox

That’s actually a title I may use if I ever do a sock book. God knows people suck up sock books like shop vacs.

Generally, I take time in October to replenish the sock drawer. Two lightweight pair for me, two Raggi pairs, one for Jerry and one for me.

I enjoy designing socks but when it comes to making my own, I could care less about patterning. I use the same plain vanilla 60-stitch pattern with self-patterning yarn that I’ve worked for the past 15 years. It fits. I wear them with my Mary Janes to work. I don’t need anything else.

As far as the Raggi socks go, I call them the “Loopy” socks because Loop turned me on to Raggi. She has made her husband Jerry socks from Raggi for a long time. Again, these are plain vanilla. I made my Jerry a pair last winter and he loved them so much, I’m at it again.

I may size the Raggi socks and then put the pattern up here as a freebie.

Da Mags

I’m sorry to say that IK is a mess. Vague seems to be getting back on track, thank God. But IK is foundering. It was bad enough watching Knitter’s go down the crapper but now, IK is racing down the poop chute. Reviewing the fall issue, it struck me that the designs’ colors were drab. No matter how well designed the garments may have been, the issue as a whole was downright grim.

WTF are they thinking? I realize that it’s been quite some time since I did a magazine but there are some design concepts that don’t change.

Concept #1: Don’t fuck up the page layout by cluttering it with little photos that cause “eye confusion.”

Concept #2: Work with a photographer who understands the vagaries of shooting knitted garments and is willing to teach you how to style. IK’s photos are often badly lit, frequently staged in an uninteresting location, and most of the models lack character. I rather miss the red-haired IK model of the past. One of the best photographers I ever had the honor to work with was Ian O’Leary, who did the photography for Sasha Kagan’s first few books. Ian taught me how to style sweaters, how to capture the design’s personality, and how to choose and work with live models.

Concept #3: Make sure that the editorial pages stand out and don’t look like advertisements. Otherwise, you’ll have confused readers.

I have found a good magazine, new to me, and one that I think is a serious threat to IK—Creative Knitting. It reminds me very much of the old IK, with directions on the left-hand page, photo on the right. No little bits and pieces scattered across the spread. The issue I picked up had some very nice designs. Check this one out. I have a feeling that it’s an up-and-comer.

My other favorite magazine is online—Twist Collective, by Kate Gilbert and her crew. This is undoubtedly the classiest netzine I’ve read in a long time. Yes, I know. Knitty and Knitter’s Review are beloved. Honestly, I find them less interesting than TC.

All that said, the IK Accessories special issue is arguably the best publication they've done in a long time. Well worth the fifteen bucks.

Spin-Off, Handwoven, and PieceWork continue to be exemplary magazines.

Other Obligatory Knitting Shit

I’ve been pretty busy, in the little spare time that I have. Besides the pile of socks, I've finished several designs for the book, spun a fair amount, and written another book chapter. I think I've scared the shit out of Jerry with the boxes of yarn that I've packed up, not to mention my library. I'll have pictures next week of some works-in-progress but until then, you'll have to make do with plain ole flat text.

Once I've moved in with Jer, I'll have my own room for a little studio. After two years, I'll be able to open up the big loom. Somehow, I'll pack in some weaving time. Time management--rare and more than handy.

By the way, if you really want to know what the fuck I'm doing, you can friend me on FaceBook if you let me know that you read the blog. I will most likely set up a separate page for my design work in the next few weeks. I don't bother with Twitter these days.

It's All Relative. Mommy, Daddy, Baby, President

Best Quote I Heard All Day

Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions.-- Albert Einstein

When my youngest daughter Corinne was tiny, she would identify her family as "Mommy. Daddy. Baby. President." I was never quite sure whether she was the Baby or the President. Perhaps her sister can clarify. But I doubt it. There's nothing better than a child's imagination. God knows both my children had imaginations that ran rampant, particularly Jenn.

Which is why I've decided that I will become even more childish than I am now. It's the only way to survive.

Happy belated birthday to my Sissyboo, Ms. Scrappy. She was my 12th birthday present. The gift that keeps on giving, as they say. 

Here's why Kar and Mar are glad that Mammy had them in April.

This picture was taken at Branch Brook Park this past Sunday, a county park in Newark/Belleville, NJ, that rivals DC with its cherry blossoms. Jerry and I were out and about, wanting to enjoy the sunshine, so he drove over and we cruised through the park. 

And then the weekend before, we drove along the Delaware River.

It's fucking 41 degrees and raining out, as I write this. Feh.

Obligatory Knitting (and Spinning) Shit

Well, almost one sleeve done on Jerry's sweater. As you can see, Cleo does not understand the concept of being nonplussed. She decided to step into the photo, something she never does. Little attention whore. 

If that isn't a look of disdain, I don't know what it is. Cleo is such a non-feline, I'm ashamed to call her a cat. I sat with my spindle last night, twirling it in front of her. She turned her back and walked away. No interest in yarn, no interest in cat toys, eats catnip and immediately falls asleep. Jesus. 

I've been fucking around with my Comet spindle again, this time using some Romney that I found in the fiber storage bin.

 It's actually spinning up nicely and I'm now satisfied that I can spindle. I still prefer a wheel, howsome ever. 

Panera Posse

I managed to make it to the Mt. Olive Panera last Wednesday for the knitting get-together. Only five of us showed up: Me, BJ, Linda, Jeanne, and later, Crystal. But I did take a picture of their gruesomenesses.

From left, it's Linda, Beej, and Jeanne. Crystal showed up after the photo shoot. I did admire Jeanne's bag that she made herself, of fabric called "Knitmare on Main Street." My favorite motif is the skeleton slumped in the armchair with the knitting. That's how I feel, most nights.

It's funny. I've never been much for groups, never joined much of anything other than orchestra in high school, dropped out of Girl Scouts because I was bored and the girls in the troop, other than Dottie, were annoying. But I enjoy going to this group when I can muster up the energy on Wednesday nights to make the 70-mile roundtrip after work. 

MD Not Cheap and Wool

Well, I'm ready. Got my pennies together, although I still haven't decided if I want to get the Ladybug. I am not usually so pussified when making a decision but the little schizo voice in my head keeps saying, "Do you REALLY need another wheel?" The schizo voice obviously mimicks my mother quite well. 

I'm bringing Jerry with me and my gut thoughts run to "do you really want him to know what you spend on this shit?" Of course, given fiber shoved into my eyeballs, Jerry will vanish for a brief time. You know he won't be any kind of shopping deterrent.

Twitz

I finally started using Twitter more often and stuck it into the sidebar the other night. As I was reading in e-Week, Twitter and FaceBook are now known as "mini-blogs." With Twitter limited to 140 characters, I'd say that was past "mini" but probably just enough for anyone's blather, including mine. 

I remember learning about stream-of-consciousness writing when I was a freshman in high school and thinking that it was a very cool way to write. I seem to recall that I tried my hand at it, possibly for a homework assignment. In fact, this blog is plenty stream of consciousness, when you come right down to it. I rarely think much of it through until I'm typing. I may take pictures, may use 'em, may not. 

So consider this true WYSIWYG kind of crap.

Hippo Bird-day

Friday will be my last day of being in my 50s because, as my mother so kindly reminded me yesterday, Saturday will be the first day of my 60s. I think she's enjoying the fact. Considering that she will be 86 in August but looks and acts like she's in her 60s, I figure I'm about 35 or so, really. What my mother knits would put a lot of knitters half her age to shame. She just finished the Mari Dembrow cardigan that I've been working on. And started another lace shawl. 

While I spent some time last week feeling a bit sorry for myself because damn it, I'm getting to be an old lady, I rallied and decided, fuck it. I'll never lose my attitude. Mammy hasn't, my grandmother didn't, I won't either. And I've passed this along to Jenn and Corinne, with Liz being the rarest and handiest budding curmudgeon of them all. It's all relative.

German Eyes are Smiling.

Best Quote I Heard All Day

It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody.--Brendan Behan

One of my favorite Irish writers, along with Joyce and Samuel Beckett. Author of Borstal Boy, which I highly recommend.

Irish poets? Yeats in particular. "Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." Another great quote, along with my favorite, "A terrible beauty was born." Reference to the Easter Rebellion of 1916. I do know my Irish history well.

Yes, Jerry is Irish...well, Irish-American. And he really did kiss the Blarney Stone. No shit.

I should have been Irish, given my general high spirits. But I do enjoy being the Anti-German. Sense of humor, sometimes disorganized, occasionally late.

Holiday Madness

We spent most of the holidays together, so I'm just getting back on track now. I met his wonderful sister Pat, and the altogether too smart and sweet nieces, Kelly, Kate, and Michele, on Christmas eve.

(No, Jerry, you do NOT look like a child molester in this picture.)

And then he met my family on Christmas Day. Ye Gods, what a crew.

Ian, mesmerized by his new Wii, Joe (Liz's boyfriend) playing her pink bass, her birthday present from Gram, and the Punk Princess herself.

And my favorite Christmas picture.

Jesus, Jerry, for crissakes, smile the next time someone takes our picture. The necklace I'm wearing in the picture was my Christmas present from him: a blue opal. Gorgeous. And the earrings do light up and flash obnoxiously but I restrained myself. A bit.

Then, the Sunday after Christmas, we did a wonderful road trip to DC. We walked our asses off, doing almost all of the Smithsonian museums.

I loved this sculpture. It turned slowly with the wind.

Unfortunately, we didn't make it to the White House. I did forget my old stinky sneakers anyway. However, the Capitol building was already swathed with scaffolding in preparation for the inauguration.

And finally, the holidays were over and it was back to work.

Obligatory Knitting Shit

Well, idiot child left the directions to the Debrow cardigan at Jerry's house, so I had to fish around for a quick project until I can retrieve them tomorrow night. I found a bag of Julia yarn that Kristin Nicholas gave me when I was up at the farm taking pictures for last year's article. (I do have to write K...it's been much too long.)

She gave me the yarn for socks but I decided to make the fingerless mitts from her book, Kristin Knits. This is a great quick project and I desperately despise gloves and mittens. I need to feel my fingers grip the steering wheel, as it were.

I haven't added the embroidery yet--there are two flowers with stems--but I shall, after the other mitt is finished. Julia is distributed by Nashua Handknits of Westminster Fibers and I love this yarn, have used it twice now. Check out the colors. They're all Kristin.

One of these days, I'm going to make those Fair Isle embroidered socks of hers that were in VK back in 2006. I have the issue.

Aran Go Bragh

Yeah, working on Jerry's Aran sweater design, which was part of his Christmas present, an IOU. Right now, I'm charting out the stitch patterns on Knit Visualizer. I've decided to use Dale Falk in a medium blue, to make a lighter weight sweater. This will allow me to use more complex patterns, too. I've got a very nice Celtic braided central panel in mind, which I'm about to chart.

My first sweater was an Aran. Don't ask. I was fearless at 18. Still am, I guess.

So the question of the day is: What's the difference between a braid and a plait in Aran knitting? There is a difference, albeit slight. Those of you who are Aran aficionados will know the answer to this question.

OK, it's almost time to shower my bod and watch CSI. I'm so bummed out that William Petersen is leaving the series. I've loved him since "Manhunter." He's a rare and handy actor, that one.

Whew! Thank you Jeezus!

Best Quote I Heard All Day

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. --Jane Austen

Well, yeah. It helps. And so does the new job, with the large salary and the kind of tech writing I love to do. To quote Loopy, "Yay puppies!"

I've gotten back into the swing of work things. I have to say that I am thrilled to have dumped that hideous Slovenian House of Horrors company. Now that I'm working as a consultant for a truly decent company, it's little wonder that I rather fell apart.

I'm good now. Fucking good. I love the new job. And...I have a new partner in crime, a wonderful man who's loving, funny, attentive, and a total piece of work. Jeremiah, aka Jerry. He's my Irish God. We've been seeing each other for a while now--it actually began in September but really got going a month ago. Heh. Suddenly, everything fell into place.

So don't worry. I'm actually feeling better than I have in eons. And if you really need to know what I'm up to, I've finally gotten up to speed on Facebook, which I find is a quick and easy way to let my friends and family know where I'm at. I think I'm going to upload my Rhinebeck pictures there. For some reason, I've not had any interest in going on Ravelry. Partly because I had been so busy and partly because I'd rather spend my free time actually knitting rather than fucking around online.

Obligatory Knitting Shit

Yeah, I've been doing it. No, not that "it." Well, maybe. "It" can mean whatever. I've been making some decent progress on the Mari Dembrow Cables and Twists cardigan. Finished the back, working on the left front.

I like Dembrow's designs. They're interesting classics and nicely shaped. Mammy turned me onto this one from Yarn Barn's catalog, so I decided to bite. As it turned out, Loop had bought the same pattern awhile back. I charted the cables on KnitVisualizer.

Pawing through my bookcases, I found Dembrow's book, Better Sweaters, which was first published back in 1986. It's a useful little book, well written with a sense of humor. Not that you may need another how-to book, but if you come across it, add it to your library.

There's something to be said about Dembrow's method of knitting somewhat tighter than normal. I find that I like it. Her cabled designs are all gauged for tighter work. On this cardigan, I hit her gauge for the worsted weight on #5s. This gives the cables even better definition but does not make the fabric board-like.

My next project was going to be the Gansey shawl. It may still be, although I'm tempted to design Jerry an Aran, despite the stoopid boyfriend crap. (Although that did happen to me years ago, when I designed a gansey for the Nasty German and he dumped me before I had a chance to give it to him.) Whether it's the shawl or the Aran, I'm going to tighten up the gauge a la Dembrow.

Presents for the Knitting Me

Well, I already got Franklin's book at Rhinebeck. Did you know that all the Wolvies are in the book? What a fabulous tribute! You'll find each of our names in the book. Mine is a bit tricky, so see if you can find it. I gave a copy to my mother, who loved it and laughed her ass off. I can't wait to see his next book. Snap it up, boy.

One of my favorite Christmas knitting presents was the bunch of stitch markers that Scrappy gave me two years ago. I use them all the time. There's something nice about having quasi-jewelry hanging from your needles.

What I'd really like Santa to bring this year is the Schacht Ladybug. But that ain't happening.

Scroogette

Not really. I adore Christmas, always have and always will. But I have this dinky little artificial tree on my coffeetable and that's the best I can do this year. This sucks big time. I want a damned big honking real tree. But that will be remedied.

I'm going back to Jersey next spring. I need a larger place, plus my new job may be moving to Mt. Olive, where I used to live when Jimmy was alive. That's where I had planned to go before I got the new job. Now, it's definite. I just can't get used to Pennsyltucky. I miss my old 'hood. Besides, my friend BJ lives in the same complex where I'd like to live.

I need room for my loom, room for my dining room set, room for a damned couch in a decent-sized livingroom. Having the loom folded up in my bedroom here is a fucking pain in the ass. I'm sick of moving but maybe this will do it. I've been floating around since Jimmy died and that's almost seven years ago. It's time for this will o' the wisp to settle down. And continue her rare and handy life.

Sarah Palin Crapalong

Best Quote I Heard All Day
As for that VP talk all the time, I'll tell you, I still can't answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does every day?--Sarah Palin

I can't help myself. I haven't had this much fun during a presidential campaign, ever. Glued to the news at night. And tonight's the big comedy show, too!

OK, I'm no PhotoShop pro--I leave that to the Punk Princess. But she does look well in Camo, dontcha think?

Open Mic Thursday

I'm thinking it's time for a Crapalong. Haven't done one of those in a long time. I rather like the idea of fugly knitting a la Palin, but I could do a lot with this. Rather than scratch my brain, though, I'll put it out for you all in this week's topic:

What kind of a political Crapalong would you like to see?

It would start this Friday, end on Election Day. I'll give the winner something. If you have ideas, be sure to be as specific as possible. I'll choose the best one on Friday and post their name and their concept. Unless I decide I like mine the best.

It's good to be a petty dictator.

Obligatory Knitting Shit

Not much, other than beating the Princess jacket to death. I've been working on that steadily, in the hopes of having it finished by Rhinebeck. I'll make it--the final front is almost done, with a sleeve and the collar to knit. And then the finishing, which is only seaming. That's no BFD.

I will put up a picture of the finished garment. I find WIP pictures somewhat boring. Same shit, different day department.

The KC's Fiber Kids Challenge

I want to thank those of you who have donated to this cause. I have given to each one, since I chose them. Thanks to Jennifer, Elizabeth, and Stefanie for their generosity! Every little bit helps, so if you haven't donated, please do. Of course, we have the entire month of October, so I know that sometimes ya gotta wait until payday. I sure do, most of the time.

Well, it's now October and I'm jonesin' for my fiber festivals. I still haven't made up my mind about going to B'more for Stitches. I find SOAR and Rhinebeck infinitely handy and certainly rare, since they come once a year, like Christmas. (I get that same rush of excitement going to these events as I did at Christmas as a kid.)

No Red, White, and Blue Ackrilic Knitted Objects Allowed on the Premises

Best Quote I Heard All Day

July 4. Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one 4th of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so.--Mark Twain

I love fireworks. Here in PA they are legal and you can even buy them in the supermarket. I was so fucking tempted to buy a bunch and shoot 'em off tomorrow. If it doesn't rain, which it's supposed to.

Friggin' Flag Knitting
The only garment made from a flag that was truly cool was worn by The Who back in the '60s. When Carnaby St. was the fashion universe, at least to this then 17 year old.

Here's the perfect KnitDweeb patriotic project. Red, white, and blue warshcloth done in the Old Shale pattern. Nice, huh? Of course, this is done in Sugar 'n Cream, available at the Michaels, AC Moore, WalMart, Hobby Lobby, and other wonderful KnitDweeb emporia.

Or perhaps you'd prefer to crochet a lovely flag afghan? Materials: Red Heart, but of course.

Now, these American flag socks are rather funky. And made with real wool, gang. I'd almost be tempted to make these, just to be obnoxious.

And, in keeping with the true KnitDweeb spirit, all of the aforementioned patterns are FREE, FREE, FREE.

Sorry, can't do white on white. Just white on rice.

Open Mic Thursday
OK, I've given you plenty of ammo. Ya wanna knit patriotic? Then tell the world...

Which of the three patterns above would you knit?

And if you have other sources for patriotic knitted stuff, feel free to shut the fuck up, please. Three are more than enough. Unless you have found something completely absurd. In which case, I'm sure we'd all be intrigued and disgusted.

Warped Speed
After having been sent this link by my dear sister, Ms. Scrappy, I may have to restrict my knitting web surfing. Be afraid, be very afraid of this link. It's not patriotic, just completely bizarre. Knit it because you can. I double dog-dared the blogging Wolvies to knit a pair and be photographed wearing them. No takers. Clearly, I have balls and I'll have to do it.

Obligatory Knitting Shit
The Las Vegas Brights scarf is almost done. Then it's back to the Cobweb Crepe shawl.

In the meanwhile, for all of us who spin, Katherine Matthews once again is having the Tour de Fleece.



I'm in. The Tour begins on July 5th and you must use fiber from your stash, which I think is a capital idea.

This is not the sum total of my fiber stash by a long shot. Just the smaller amounts. We won't talk about the 3 pounds of Romney, the endless supply of Tintagel Farm stuff, and other large purchases.

Please ignore all the Black Bunny Fibers purchases. I can't stay away from Carol's shit.

It's going to be one of these two. And I think I've already chosen the one. Both are silk.





So as of Saturday, the Joy will be cleaned and oiled. And then used for the Tour. Hot damn. I'll be taking photos as I go along. Gotta get it spun and plyed by the 27th so I qualify for the Maillot Jaune button. This one of the few "alongs" that I find worthwhile.

Because "alongs" are not particularly rare and handy, in my opinion. They belong with memes.

Note: The 6th anniversary of The Knitting Curmudgeon is fast approaching. July 25th. If any readers have good ideas for an anniversary blog topic, I'd appreciate the suggestions. God knows I never thought the blog would last this long.

When I Die, I'm Coming Back as Julie Andrews

Best Quote I Heard All Day
When it's my turn to march up to glory
I'm gonna have one hell of a story--Dixie Chicks, Sin Wagon

I'm feeling quite sinful these days. As if I don't, as a rule. However, it's an enjoyable state of sin. Certainly not a state of grace.

Julie Andrews. Here's a trivia question for you. What movie, featuring two British comedians, had one of them saying "Julie Andrews" to get out of demonic trouble?

My sister knows the answer to this so she must recuse herself. Got it, Kar? Shut the fuck up and let everyone sweat this one. I know you know.

Franklin's Tower
I know I'm almost two weeks behind myself but I did have a fabulous time down in Kennett Square with Carol, Franklin, Jacqui, and a bunch of readers who showed up at Jacqui's wonderful shop, Woolgathering.

The lovely Jacqui had lots of caloric stuff to eat, as well as a shop filled with absolutely finest kind yarn. I'll definitely make the trip again, just to hang out with her.

The crowds were fierce. It was take-a-number time, well organized but truly heads above waiting at the deli counter.

And then, of course, was my hard-working gay son, gracious to all, in a photographic Zen mode. I believe the final count was 135 knitters.

I did ask him what the fuck he was going to do with this "scarf" that is of Brobdingagian proportions. He's not sure yet but I would think that the Smithsonian Institution might like to have it for America's Attic.

Looks like a roll of knitted toilet paper. Wait. This could be a concept that would stand up to knitted uteri, knitted cocks, knitted eyeballs, ad nauseam. Go forth and spread the idea. Someone will do it. You know they will.

Almost on a par with the knitted Elvis wigs, methinks.

Anyway, we had a wonderful time. I don't know why I didn't get a picture of Sissyboo Deux, Carol. Sweetie, I am so sorry! You eluded my lens. Damn. But gang, her book is exquisite. I saw the advance copy and this belongs in everyone's library. Only one month to go before it's out.

Buy it. Or else.

By the way, Franklin darling, were your parents Deadheads? I need to know.

Obligatory Knitting Shit
Still chugging away on the shawl. I was very surprised to have a number of people at Wool Gathering identify the yarn correctly as Black Pearl.



In fact, one person was working on a piece (I believe it was a Clapotis, but my memory sucks) using Black Pearl and it was astonishing how different the color saturation was. The purples in hers were bright. Mine are more muted.

This is a stupidly simple pattern. The challenge will come in easing the edging around the border. I remember Ted angsting about this. I'm not going to angst but I will write about it. This is a maneuver that takes some thought.

Pattern Skill Ratings
Longtime readers know how I feel about this crap. Would my first sweater have been an Aran had it been marked "Expert"? Probably, because I ignore warnings, unless they pertain to hazardous materials and men.

Rather, I think it would be far more helpful to develop a meaningful system of rating, one that pertains to taste.

1. KnitDweeb--this category contains warshcloths, ponchos, pompom'ed anything, aimless garter stitch modular knitting, mocsox, knitted coasters and beercan cozies. Working with Fun Fur is a prerequisite.
   
   
2. GlitzGrrrllls--this category contains any item made from yarn by an Italian company, preferably either a too-short bolero or a ghastly evening bag with matching beanie.
   
   
3. FiberSnots--this category is specifically for perpetual Koigu users. Give it a break, it ain't that fucking wonderful. Nor are the designs that go with it.
   
   
4. OhNaturellas--this category pertains to those who have bought into the eco-friendly yarn marketing. Garments include any shapeless schmatteh, including drop-shoulder kimonos. Please, someone tell these knitters that all natural fibers are "eco-friendly."
   
   
5. DaRestOfUs--this category belongs to all knitters who are fearless, try to stick to good quality yarns, and don't avoid a challenge. And who actually read the directions at least three times and swatch, too.

OK, enough of that. Honestly, I've been guilty of all five categories at any given time in my years of knitting. But at least I learned a little bit from experience.

J'endorse
Those of you who know me personally know that I'm highly political, highly critical of the sorry path this country has taken under the leadership of a mentally challenged, blinded individual and his evil Ann Sullivan, the Dickster.

I am an Obama supporter, after months of watching both him and Clinton and weighing each of them carefully. I believe he is a man of honor, of thought, of responsibility, and above all, highly intelligent with a will to listen. I will not vote for Hillary or McCain. I do not believe either of them has or will shaken the dirty dust of DC from their respective boots.

A change you can believe in. I'm no one's fool. I believe, however, that we can change and we must, to survive. In this time of economic upheaval, we need to hang tight and believe in ourselves. And this self-entitlement that is epidemic among many Americans, particularly the younger ones, needs to be swapped for the old "can-do" of my parents' generation. It stood them in good stead. They were indeed rare and handy.

Just Shut the Fuck Up, Already

Best Quote I Heard All Day
Jesus! Where will it end? How low do you have to stoop in this country to be President? —Hunter S. Thompson

As always, the Duke is the best source for a pithy comment. Whatever happened to gonzo journalism? That was writing that teetered on the edge, always radical, always insightful, if you dared to accept it. Now it’s nothing but talking heads. And talking, bickering candidates of the Democratic Party persuasion.

Prior It Tease
…are becoming skewed, slivered, and fricasséed. At this point in time, it would appear that my life’s list is as follows:

1. Work—write endlessly boring text about how to click buttons, track vehicles, run reports. And becoming an expert on DOT regulations for “motor carriers.” Trucks. Of all shapes and sizes.A thrill of a learning experience.

2. Sleep and food, the latter generally provided by Neal, the former by medication.

3. Knitting and spinning

4. My family and friends

5. My blogs

One month since I posted. Sheesh. Work is sucking the life blood out of me and that’s going to come to a screeching halt. I need this job, especially with the recession enveloping us, but they need me more, in a way, than I need them. So I’ve decided what my priorities will be and make sure all of them get equal attention.

Traveling Mar
Yeah, it’s going to be one of those months—just spent two days in Uncasville/Taftville, CT, working with a new client. However, I stayed at Mohegan Sun, a place glitzy enough to cause epileptic seizures. Staying there was the idea of our high-roller VP of Sales, who got us all rooms on the cheap. I played the slots for approximately a half hour and lost $30. That was more than enough. God, what a mindless activity.

Off to Newburgh, NY, then Indy. That’s April. In May, off to Russellville, Arkansas. Bleah. But that may do it for the travel until next fall. I hope. I’d druther stay home these days.

Technology Roolz or Droolz, Take Yer Pick
Kinda. For the first time, I’m using Word 2007 to publish my blog entry. Think about that. Blogs have so proliferated that Billy Gates figured he should add a blog publishing feature in the latest version of Word. You connect Word with your blog account—Word gives you a number of blog publishing choices—and then you can click “Publish” when you’re finished and up it goes. We’ll see. This could be a good thing.

Obligatory Knitting Shit
I finished the Icelandic Lace Shawl. My one comment on this freebie shawl is that I would have decreased the crocheted chains on the edging by 25%. Too many—they should have been spaced more equably. The pattern itself is somewhat on the odd side, constructionwise. It was not terribly straightforward, with a center stitch that disappeared in one stitch pattern, resurfacing in the next.

I’m busy working out the sock designs for the book—Chantilly Lace is charted and I’m proving it out. Born in the USA’s prototype is done. Two down, 16 to go.

I also finished the Las Vegas Brights silk, plyed it, and skeined it up. From 4 ounces, I got 853 yards of laceweight. Not enough for a shawl, too much for a scarf. So maybe it will do for two scarves. And yes, Sissy Scrappy, I might give you one.

As soon as the LVB was off the bobbins, I started spinning some black alpaca I bought from Mel and David at Rhinebeck. Now of this, I have 14 ounces, more than enough for a shawl. Yes, I know. Knitting lace in black is a bitch. And your point would be? It’s too HARD, as Junior Bush has said? I can handle it. Although I may whine about it at some point, once I start knitting lace with it.

Thoughts on Lace
It dawned on me the other day that of late, meaning the past two years, I’ve only really been interested in lace. Hence the newest train knitting project, the Cobweb Crepe shawl from Sharon Miller’s book Heirloom Knitting. This is constructed in the center square/diamond-border-edging method, one that I like very much. This is done in Helen’s Lace by Lorna’s Laces, quite nice to knit with. It does look like a bag one might buy in the Salvation Army store.

Sharon offers different ways of working this construction—you can pick up around the edges of the center for the border, then knit on the lace edging. Or you can work the damned thing flat, with seams to sew. Supposedly working this in the round is HARD, or at least for “experienced” knitters. Nonsense. In my mind, working something in the round and eliminating seams, particularly in lace, is far easier than fucking around with flat pieces. It is truly not at all hard, as long as you pay attention, work the edge stitches of the center properly so that they can be used in the border pick-up, and remember that garter stitch in the round is knit one round, purl one round. No big deal.

So here’s the “bag” so far. The border is a simple Old Shale derivative, the edging Clematis. This is a construction that is relatively easy to design with. I worked the center diamond as written, in garter stitch, but a scattered eyelet pattern would be nice. I wish I had thought about doing that before I started. I particularly like what I call “columnar” edgings, ones that are vertical rather than horizontal. I think that the symmetry found in these types of borders lends itself well to the mitering of the shawl’s corners. Just my opinion, for what it’s worth.

Mags
Well, I bought the new Vague. About the only design I found appealing was Kaffe’s cardigan. Other than that, it was the usual snoozer. However, you spinners out there—buy this issue of Spin-Off. It’s one of the best they’ve published in a while. With most of the other fiber magazines thudding along, Spin-Off has pulled itself together with the new layout, new editor, and it’s well worth buying. I highly recommend Abby Franquemont’s article on plying. I found it extraordinarily good and enlightening. The article on making cabled yarn was the one that intrigued me the most, although it’s rather a belabored process.

A Franklin Extravaganza, with Hot Wolverinas Attending

My darling gay son will be in Philly in a week. (I'm stealing from his lovely mother, and Franklin is the same age as my daughter Corinne, so he could be her gay twin brother--except that she's blonde.) Read all about his shoot at Wool Gathering in Kennett Square, PA. And if you live within driving range, getcher ass there. It's Saturday the 19th. I'll be there, as will Carol Sulcoski, maybe Joe, maybe some other Wolverinas, although Liza can't make it.

I don't recall ever hearing of any other knitting gaggle (or is it a murder of knitters?) quite like the Wolvies. And who are the Wolvies? I will give big kudos (such an oily word) to any reader who can name all 8 members of the Wolverinas. You've got 4 already if you read carefully. Now, come up with the other four. I bet ya can't do it

Anyway, kids, my lunch hour is well over. But it’s Friday, so fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke. I’m glad to have had a few minutes to write something that means more to me than any other prose that leaks from my electronic pen. Here’s some close personal Hoboken friends, who greet me every morning as I walk towards the Light Rail that takes me to Jersey City.

Some rare and handy birds, although they shit all over the place. But my Oma always told me that bird crap on your head means you’ll be lucky. I can do without luck in that instance.

Ob-la-di Ob-la-da life goes on bra

Best Quote I Heard All Day
When you're drowning, you don't say "I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me," you just scream.--John Lennon

Drowning in work and yet I seem to be able to find the time to do my shit. How is that?

I guess it's all "time management." Feh. I hate that corporate jargon crap, though. If anyone at work ever uses "impact" as a verb again, I'm gonna fucking strangle them. And "utilize" is better than "use"? Bite me.

Knitting Buckets
That's another stupid corporate term, as in "let's put that task in the Operations bucket." Shut the fuck up. Shove THIS up your bucket.

Anyway, I've actually accomplished some knitting and some spinning. Here's the lineup:

These are the Kureyon socks. Believe it or not, I didn't even try to match the color changes. Somehow, it just happened. I will say that although I like the colors, the socks are felting already, as one of my readers noted in earlier Comments. I don't really give a rat's ass about that, since most socks felt to a degree anyway after repeated wearing. I might use it again. Maybe.

Remember the Las Vegas Brights silk? Here it is, getting plyed. As you can see, I spun it quite fine and gave it plenty of twist, as silk needs. The colors won't be evident until I skein it but I suppose it will make a nice lace scarf.

Loopy and I both have a pile of yarn that we've spun and never used. Loop sez: "Oh hell, I have stuff that I spun years (and I mean *years*) ago that I've never yet done anything with. The worst part is that they were spun for specific projects and I still haven't found the motivation
to start them."

Remember Starry Night? I have a shitload of that and never decided upon a suitable project. And then, there certainly is the motivation factor to be considered.


Finally, I've been diddling around with IK's freebie, the Icelandic Lace Shawl, done in some of the piles of Morehouse laceweight I own. The original is done in natural shades. I thought the design would do well for this kind of "hand-dyed" yarn.

What a peculiar little pattern it is, though. In the band of reverse stockinette, which is right above the feather-and-fan-ish bottom pattern, there are no central decreases, despite the fact that the stitch patterns before and after do have decs in the center. WTF? This causes a bubble on that band, one that can be blocked out.

I understand that putting decreases in this reverse st st band would somewhat upset the visual line. But still. I think I would have opted to put the decreases in.

The Fiber Nest
I had forgotten that I took this picture back in early January, right after we moved all my furniture up. The boxes are gone from the kitchen, the curio cabinet is filled, and the bookcases are jammed with all of my books. (Please, someone stop me from buying books.)

My loom is crammed into my bedroom, my winding station is next to my bedroom closet, and my swift is in the living room closet. But hey, it works for me. The stash is located in two other closets. This place does have good closet space, as small as it is.

And of course, I do have run of the next-door neighbor's place. With me, it's yarn, books, two wheels, and a loom. With him, it's cables, receivers, speakers, woofers, tweeters, mixing boards, tools up the wazoo, and a CD/DVD collection that begs description. Yikes.

He's the nerd, I'm the geek, as he says. True. However, both of us are packrats. Because you never know when you might need some stuff.

Rock Sox
Thank God for the Punk Princess. She has been very helpful in suggesting New Millenium artists and songs. She approved of my choices. And I love her for saying that the book idea is "kewl!" Liz suggested that I fit Bob Marley in, with "No Woman No Cry" as her choice, in Rasta colors. Of course, she wanted to know if she could have all the socks after they are photographed and the book is done. Well, maybe. I think I'll go with the Bob Marley concept, though. But that would go into the '70s section.

I liked the idea of using the Dixie Chicks instead of Green Day, Good Charlotte, or Blink 182. When I get to that point, I'll decide. I love the Dixie Chicks--perhaps I'll use "The Long Way Around" as a song. It's one of my favorites and certainly hits home with me. I always take the long way around, dontcha know?

The Chantilly Lace prototype is on the needles, after much swatching and fucking around. Those of you who design know this truism: If ya think it's gonna fly by what you see in your head, fuggedaboudit when it's on the needles.

Ruminations
Lately, I've been feeling that the knitting craze is coming to a screeching halt. I don't know why I have that sense of the end, but I do. After all, the real estate market has had el crasho grande. What goes up, must come down. We'll still see a plethora of knitting books for the next year or so, due to the length of time it takes to get a book out.

Nonetheless, I think the weekend knitting warriors have been weeded out and are on to another hobby, perhaps beermaking or macrame. Or golf.

That's not to say that the KnitDweebs are gone. They're alive and well on the lists and on Ravelry too. Ravelry being the perfect place for them to run amok. No matter. I do the la-la-la thing if I come across them. Loop found a real gem who is infesting the Heirloom Knitting list and the SnitU list. I won't out this woman here. The only hint I can give you is this: Let it snow. If you read these lists, you'll know who I mean.

Well, gang, it's off to Montclair for lunch with Mammy, brother Rich, and the ubiquitous Queen of Chaos, Scrappy aka Sissyboo aka Karen. Rich turned 54 yesterday. Happy birthday, bro. You are the rarest and handiest brother anyone could have. Just be glad I don't kick your ass anymore.

KTHXBYE.