Best Quote I Heard All Day
"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life."--Frank Zappa

There's snow coming.

If it's yellow, don't eat it.


Cold Shot
There are few things more boring to knit than scarves. I can say that, having pretty much finished AnnMarie’s Fancy scarf, executed in carefully knit garter stitch. Ye Gods.

However, I’m reconsidering my general attitude about scarves, due to the fact that the wind chill factor was 9 degrees Fahrenheit today in downtown Dover, NJ and I froze my face off waiting on the platform for the Hoboken train.

Last weekend, while visiting in Saratoga Springs with John’s friends Mitch and Em, I went with Em to the new yarn shop in town and bought one skein of that Tibetan silk yarn for a scarf. Em’s a knitter and her sister who lives in VT is a weaver, spinner, and knitter. Johnny Heartthrob has some nifty friends, for sure.

I’m thinking that Tibetan silk is not the way to go.

Xmas Crap-Along
I’ve been giving this little contest a bit of thought and I suppose I will have to award a prize. I could give away some of Kathy’s stash that I inherited but I decided that a major award should be something from my own stash. It’s terribly tacky to regift, don’t you think? I will rummage through my stash and see what’s good. There’s plenty of nice sock yarn available. And I believe I have a huge skein of Schaefer merino from a few years back that’s pretty nice, from which someone could make something. I’m willing to give that up. But I’ll make my decision by this weekend and let you know.

So here are MY rules for the Crap-Along. Let’s make it a Xmas Crap-Along, since I’m wallowing in the season’s spirit.

You may knit any item you wish. Nothing is sacred.

Materials: Must be all acrylic or any sleazy fiber you wish to try. No natural fibers.

Theme: You can pick religious or secular, I don’t give a fuck. Those of you fixated with the Jesus concept are welcome to work your knitting magic.

Presentation: You may send me a reasonably sized .jpeg of your project (please keep it to about 200K or 500 pixels, or whatever). You may style the photo as you wish. Extra credit and consideration will be given to those with wild imaginations. No action figures of Janet Reno will be accepted.

Due Date: Get these pictures to me by December 20. That gives you plenty of time to make a mess and still get your Christmas shopping done.

You may enter as many times as you wish, although God knows why you would waste your time doing more than one. And even one entry smacks of excess.

But I bow to my readers’ infinite wisdom and total lack of taste.

Getting It Done
I know, all I do is complain that I have too much to do at work. However, it seems true to me. This week, I have spent two days in Jersey City doing audits. Friday I have to go to North Brunswick. For those of you who do not know New Jersey, these are two cities that won’t appear on your “New Jersey and You—Perfect Together” tourist brochure.

In defense of my home state, just remember that The Scottish Designer Whose Name May Never Be Mentioned Because She Hires Process Servers Weekly based an entire book on Stillwater, New Jersey, which is right down the road from where I live.

In the midst of my work and personal life maelstrom, I have managed to begin the final finishing of the Lavold vest, knit one sock in the left-over Debbie Bliss merino, and eyeballed the Forest Path Stole. And now I’m going to put all of those project aside to knit myself a warm wool scarf and perhaps some gloves. The Isotoners just don’t keep your hands warm.

For Christmas, Liz has asked me for some fingerless gloves in black and red, with “flames” shooting here and there. I’ve gotten the new version of Stitch Motif Maker, so it looks like I will do a bit of charting on the weekend. I’ll let you know how the upgraded version is.

December Bizarro Link Winner
As much as I admire Lisa McNulty’s amazing assortments of links you wouldn’t show your mother, she’s already won. And my new rule is, if you’ve won in 2003, you may not win again until 2004. Which is next month, so big fucking deal, eh? So the winner is: Judy Austin, who sent me a bunch of good links. And I've selected a particular holiday project from one of them. You'll love it.

I already have January’s winner, so don’t send me any submissions, OK? There's a tie for January, so we'll have two swell sites to look at.

And thanks to everyone who submitted. I've just had time to go through them all tonight, so if you haven't heard back from me, you will. Eventually.

And now, because I'm getting a rare and not very handy cold, I'm going to bed.