Monday, January 23, 2006

Best Quote I Heard All Day
Mystery is the wisdom of blockheads--Horace Walpole

Mayhem in the sleepy quasi-historic village of Mine Hill, nestled in the foothills of the Appalachians--can it be solved?

Bring out the big guns. After all, this was a crime that surpassed outrage. A heinous deed that boggled the mind and begged the question, "What the FUCK happened here?"

Could it be Buddy the Bodacious Cat, spewing and spraying because his bowl was empty? Or perhaps John re-enacting one of his idol Frank Zappa's songs? Ectoplasm from my late husband, who appears in dreams saying, "Do you really need more yarn, honey?"?

The mystery was solved using Luminol and other advanced forensic techniques such as ballistics and trajectory calculations.

It was fiber related, no question about it. You're so fucking smart, all of you, and now you have the opportunity to prove it. What left this odd, liquid patterning on my living room wall?

JamaicanMeCrayzee--The Penultimate Act
So it is has been written, so it shall be done. I finished knitting the hood last night. A minor roadblock had arisen and was handled fortuitously. More on that later. But first, here's the teen-age funkster modeling her new hoodie.

It was all I could do to keep from calling her "my little Rasta elf."

Here's what I should have known in advance, because I absolutely knew it, and here's what I forgot about ribbing. If you knit 1/1 ribbing vertically, next to stockinette, the purl stitch positioned next to the stockinette acts as a turning stitch and the whole ribbed band will flip to the inside. Duh.

After about two inches of knitting the hood, I was reminded of this. But never mind. Since I had added the ribbing by casting on 5 extra stitches at the beginning and the end of the hood edge, the ribbing then could be used either as a facing or a casing, depending on whether Liz wanted a drawstring or not. So all was salvaged.

Except that she wants a drawstring. So now I have to knit about 3 feet of I-cord, weave in the rest of the ends, wash/block the whole sweater, and then it will be done and ready for the photographs that will go into the pattern sheets. And start sizing the directions so that people other than a size 1 can make it.

Weekend Roundup
I managed to get the hood knitted despite a slight flare-up of my CTS. This CTS originates not from knitting, according to my neurosurgeon, but from mousing for more than 20 years. Clicking and dragging, primarily. So I find spinning easy on my right hand, which holds the fiber. The huge pile of Starry Night has melted into this:

The label on the bag says "230 yds." It dawned on me the other day that 230 yards meant 230 yards of fucking roving. Holy shit. Good thing I didn't figure that out ahead of time. So I plan on starting to swatch Starry Night some time next weekend, while I'm hanging out with Kathy and Selma.

Read This Book Or I'll Shoot This Dog
Anyone who's worked in magazine publishing knows this famous coverline. So here's a book for you all to read or I'll shoot your puppy. I got my copy on Thursday and couldn't put it down.

An astonishing book and one that certainly opened my eyes. You all know Lisa, my dear friend and frequent rabblerouser in my comments. Well, this book was written by her partner, Norah Vincent. Norah spent 18 months posing as "Ned," a swell guy but a lousy bowler, who always seemed to have a bit of a 5 o' clock shadow issue. Ned spent time not only bowling but in strip joints, going out on internet dates (anyone who's done that deal, as I have, will find this chapter most interesting), in a monastery, and even attending a male retreat. Now that takes balls, even if they come pre-packaged. And what Norah discovered about men is revolutionary, in my opinion.

This book just blew me away, shattering a ton of my conceptions about men and how they think and why they think what they do. I grew up in the Gloria Steinem era. I remember when Ms. Magazine launched. I'm a feminist from way back, although I do loves the guys very much and never was interested in bashing them. However, I, as so many women do, had preconceived ideas about men. Read the book with an open mind. And then be prepared to change yours.

(Never mind that I would always support a friend's efforts. I would. However, I sure as shit wouldn't put something on my blog flogging said effort if it weren't completely up to my skanky standards, no matter how good a friend.)

Norah was on 20/20 this past Friday and on Good Morning America this morning. And the Today Show tomorrow morning. A People magazine spread is coming. Her website has all the info for future appearances.

I was thinking that Norah's upcoming appearance on the Conan O'Brien show is almost as rare and handy as her maybe making it to Letterman. Read the book.

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