Wednesday, February 19, 2003

Best Quote I Heard All Day
There's a helluva distance between wisecracking and wit.
Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
--Dorothy Parker

Dorothy Parker...brilliant writer (and consummate knitter)

If u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb
When did it happen that we all started using acronyms and abbreviations in our internet writing because we’re too damned lazy to type it all out? And I’m seeing more and more endlessly long, totally meaningless acronyms on the lists. I had enough trouble remembering WYSIWYG when it first became popular.

FO is Finished Object, UFO is UnFinished Object. (I won't even go into that totally moronic knitting acronym, SEX. If you need an explanation, go ask on the Knit List.) Besides being terminally stupid, what the fuck do they mean anyway? I don’t think of my knitting projects as “Objects.” A lamp is an object. A car is an object. My knitting projects fall into numerous categories but certainly not “objects.” More like karmatic states.

So if I were to make up knitting acronyms, they would have to reflect my real life. Which is frequently more bizarre than even I could ever explain.

Here’s one for those lovers of classic Latin: LONGOTY LIB HIC (Left On Needles Going On Three Years, Lost in Bag Hidden in Car)

Here’s more that I made up. I realize that they may not become the standard for knitters but I’m willing to live with that.

BASS WIGN (Bought At Smiley’s Sale, Why In God’s Name?)
I collected a few BASS WIGNs until I finally decided some years back that Smiley’s sales were a buy-a-thon of junk, mostly. (For those readers who are not familiar with Smiley’s sales, click here.)

OPEC—OverPriced Expensive Crap. We all have some of this in our stashes, no?

SOSHTY (yeah, pronounced like you think it is)—Swatched One Skein, Hate The Yarn.
And its corollary—B52 ASS SOSHTY—Bought 52 At Smiley’s Sale, etc. The number can be sized up or down, depending upon how yarn-stupid you were at the time of the sale.

You’re welcome to contribute some of your own acronyms down yonder in the Comments area. You guys are such a clever, wise-ass bunch, I’m sure you’ll scare me. Acronyms that include the word “warshcloth” are allowed.

I have Antonio to thank for this post’s inspiration—he was curious to know what Da Chin meant by HYUK and that sent me off on this acronym tangent. I have made up my own acronym for myself and will gladly share it with all and sundry if you promise me that you’ll take it for your own and use it ad nauseam to refer to yourself on all of the lists:
Unrepentant, Periodically Cranky, Hardly Your Usual Knitter.

IOW, how rare, how handy. Or HRHH. Take your pick.

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