Best Quote I Heard All Day
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
--50 Things You Wish You Could Say at Work

I plan on saying this to the head of Human Resources soon...

Sex, Drugs, Rock 'n' Roll, Religion, Politics
After the screaming flame war on the Socknitters list a day or so ago, I promise never to discuss or allow discussions of the aforementioned topics.

With the possible exception of rock 'n' roll, and only to say that I also will not allow any discussion of K--s, if rap is really music, or whether Stairway to Heaven is the greatest song in the annals of rock because it's always #1 on every rock radio station's top 100 all-time hits.

Please write a 500-word essay on the following topic:
"The Contrapuntal Leitmotivs of Milli Vanilli"

To Toss...or Not to Toss
Now that it's January (and yes, he's coming home on Sunday--I am so happy!), I'm starting to weed through my knitting stuff because I suspect that I will have to compact and/or compress or something. Stacks of magazines: Mon Tricot, old Threads, Piecework, Spin-Off, McCall's Needlework & Crafts, Handmade (anyone remember that one?), Vagues up the wazoo, Knitter's, IK, BHG when they did a knitting mag, Family Circle Knitting (years before FCEK), INKnitters, old Fiberarts...this is scary.

And the books...ah me. More than 30 years of collecting knitting books. If it's old, I own it. And more than likely bought at the Strand Bookstore in NYC, which, if you ever make it there, is well worth the trip. I know only two other people who own at least as many and the same books as I: Loopy and my friend Susan Berke.

My stash is not as grandiose as some I've seen. But sufficient.

I made the decision last night, after talking to Susan, who is also recently widowed and needing to clean out stuff, that I will part with most anything else. Can't toss the mags, or the books, or the yarn.

I will most definitely toss out my daughters. If you're 31 and 33, respectively, you don't need to come back home to live for more than, um, a week?

Wise choice, dontcha think?

Null Knitting
This is my new technique that I "unvented" as recently as last night. (It just occurred to me that I really don't like that word, it's dumb.)

Here's a step-by-step method for you. Works for me every time. Make sure that you're sitting in front of the TV. That's key to your success.

1. With any size needles, cast on stitches as indicated in your pattern directions.
2. Work one row.
3. Wake up at 2 a.m.
4. Repeat next night.

With that said, I'm off to watch the news and knit. Film at 11, with one row knit. Sheesh.

Oh. One more thing. Do you think there's a Guinness Book of World Record for Slowest Knitter? Or maybe I can just get into Ripley's Believe It Or Not, thereby immediately becoming a caricature of myself, not unlike the Knitting Diva? Or maybe it's better likening myself to the CNN newsticker. I know, I know. I'm picking on her again. But she's such a fine target. Read Knit U, if only for her latest post. You'll thank me.

How rare! How handy! (and elasticized, too)