Best Quote I Heard All Day
That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone:
Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
--Dorothy Parker

I thought it was time for another DP quote, Tontant Weaders.


Beverly Hillbillies Knitting
Was it my imagination, or did I see Granny knitting in her rocker? Maybe it was Jethro. My eyes aren't so hot.

Will someone please explain to me why it is so thrilling to see someone knit on TV, knit in the movies, knitting anywhere?

One of my favorite authors is Ruth Rendell, who writes dark, psychological novels. In virtually every book, knitting is mentioned.

So what? Outside of one book, where the murder weapon of choice was a pair of circular needles, knitting does not play an integral part in her plot developments.

I guess if you don't have a life, a mere mention or cinematic sighting of knitting is enough to stir up the blood.

Knitter's Sighting
Heh. Gotcha. Maybe.

But I did see the magazine at Elly's this afternoon after work. Well. It's not hideous, despite their persistent use of bilious green in a few of the designs.

The Elsebeth Lavold vest is even better than I thought. Oddly, it's worked in Debbie Bliss Merino, rather than in one of Lavold's yarns. I'm hoping to see her new line at Stitches East, if I'm not blinded by the cataclysmic shine of all the glitzy-shit yarns I'm afraid will be prominent again this year.

Unfortunately, there seems to be an article on Lavold written by the X-Man himself, Alexis. And here I thought he'd given up the pen for the lens. Didn't have time to read it. But then, who does have time to wade through anything he writes?

Those Smart-Heel socks the SK gang keeps raving about? I can't find a better synonym than hideous to describe them. [Ed. Note: See my correction re: title in Comments. Better yet, see the Knit U correction to yet another mistake in their directions--they're wrong...again.]

Sorry, but that heel looks like it would only fit SpongeBob. Or possibly Squidward. Smart it ain't if it don't fit. But I'll read the directions anyway and see just how fucking smart it is.

Stitches East Warshcloth
OK, so I decided I would knit myself a little pink warshcloth and pin it to one of my ample bazooms for Stitches, just in case there's a KnitDweeb lurking near The Mannings booth with an Uzi, waiting to take me down.

So rather than continue to struggle with my Excel pivot chart and a V-Lookup that wouldn't look up this afternoon at work, I decided that it was time to chart out the petite warshcloth.



I figure, worked at 7 spi in sock yarn, this would make about a 4" wide (with edging) warshcloth suitable for pinning. Perhaps if I knit two of them, I can wear them as pasties and out Chin the Tiny Diva for pure trashy nonstyle.

Of course, I'll knit enough rows to make it 4" high and include garter edging on all sides. Don't know how this will work in actual knitting, since the graph is itself not proportional. I'll let you know. Aw shit, I just realized this will needs be done as intarsia. Fuck me.

And yes, the #25 column is missing its pink color. I really do not like Stitch Motif Maker. Doesn't do a fill. I'm going back to Stitch Painter, a much more "robust" app. (That's another word I hate, "robust." They use it all over TCI, why I do not know.)

QueerJoe's Blog-o-rama
Now listen up. I guess I have to say this again, since I want to make sure you heard me the first time.

QueerJoe is running this fucking contest wherein you write a guest blog and I get to judge the entries anonymously. And he's actually giving away enough yarn for a sweater if you win.

Which is more than you'll ever get from me. I don't do prizes. But he does, and he's already receiving entries from far and wide. Well, three. But one's from Australia, I understand.

So write something for him. Fame is yours, plus some yarn. All you have to do is get past me. Heh heh.

And now, since the phone is ringing, I must leave you to your rare and handy selves. Try to play nice in the Comments, OK? Not you, Michael. You can play as nasty as you like.