Best Quote I Heard All Day
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
--Steven Wright

One month to Stitches East. U-Haul stock is bound to go up.

Thread
I love the list threads. They prompt sarcastic e-mail exchanges between me and Loopy. Frankly, the two of us were KnitFlaming long before the KF list existed. Like since 1997.

So I'll share my stoopid pick du jour. Here's one that I just sent her, from the Knit List.

I just checked the Addis I am knitting with now and it is the mm size that is stamped on them, not the US size. Do you have a metal knitchek with the different size holes on it for every size needle. Double check the size with that.

Um, yes, I do. Would you like to cyber-borrow it? And I'm afraid you'll just have to figure out the difference between a #15 and a #17 on your own.

I hope that I personally thanked each one of the people who responded to my question about using a dishcloth pattern to make a baby afghan.

Now why didn't I think of that? Take a warshcloth "pattern" and make it into an afghan? Now I've got a whole new use for my "Bite Me" chart.

Those are just two from this morning's crop.

Weird Knitting
The thread on knitting in weird places seems to have a sub-life of its own and will not die.

In 1975, when I was a psychiatric technician, I knit every night on Ward 35, the maximum security area for homicidal and suicidal women at The Essex County Hospital Center.

I think that kind of tops knitting at the local horse show.

Fiber Toys
I'm taking a cue from QueerJoe's entry on Thursday about fiber toys and related ephemera. Personally, I've not found many that are particularly useful or worth the money.

I expect we'll see a shitload of them at Stitches, as usual. I'm really tempted, as I said in the last entry's Comments, to market bogus products and see how many KnitDweebs will bite.

I'll repeat the two products mentioned in the Comments:

ShaftSoClean...just dip and your needles will sparkle like new! Works great on nickel-plated, aluminum, or Teflon-coated needles.

And for you bamboo or wood needle aficionados, try WoodenEweWashIt. Specially formulated to restore the natural patina of all cellulose-based needles. It'll make your wood stand out!

Add these:

Got CTS? Give it a rest with KnitRHelpR! Made from the finest Taiwanese plastic, KnitRHelpR is a convenient third hand, engineered to hold your needle when the pain gets too intense. All KnitRHelpRs are made from recycled mannikins. We support the environment!

Lacy Lifelines keep your lace knitting in check! These thin waxed threads, scented with a hint of mint, can be run with your knitting so that you'll never have to worry about frogging your yarn-overs again! Each package holds pre-cut Lifelines in lengths of 24", 48" and 60". Just $11.95 for a pack of 12 Lifelines.

Hardworking knitters' hands need a real hand job! Creme a Tricoter, created from a protein-based formula, will soothe those aching joints immediately. Complete satisfaction guaranteed! Warning: You may become drowsy after use.

OK, that's enough of that. (Although I did like Carol S's comment from the last entry: Knitted Condoms, ribbed for her pleasure.)

Better get my ass in gear. More packing to do. Two weeks to go and I'm knee-deep in shit. Somehow, I seem to be able to do my job at TCI, deal with moving, and write this blog.

Moving is so unrare and so fucking unhandy. I'll stop whining now. Maybe.