Monday, October 07, 2002

Best Quote I've Heard All Day
OK, so what's the speed of dark?

It's all about how fast...or is it?

Getting Up to Speed, Diva-Style
The self-proclaimed Knitting Diva is at it again. (Stop me, kids, I'm on a roll!) Hoping to make The Guinness Book of World Records with her lightning-fast crochet. Dethroned the poor Brit who held the record yesterday at the NYC Knit-In.

What wid dis?

This is something to be proud of?

It seems to me that that one is proud of being the winner of a marathon, a driver of the fastest Formula 1 car, a Top Gun who goes Mach 5...pushing the envelope of human endurance, now that's an accomplishment.

Crocheting faster than anyone? Not.

However, the Book is filled with stupid "fastest feats," to wit:
:: The fastest yodel was 22 tones (15 falsetto) in one second on February 9, 1992, by Thomas Scholl of Munich, Germany.

::Dean Gould, of Felixstowe, Suffolk, England, picked 50 shells (with a straight pin) in 1 minute, 22.34 seconds at Great Eastern \Square, Felixstowe.

::Dustin Phillips of Topeka, Los Angeles, California, USA drank 91% of a 400-g (14-oz) bottle of tomato ketchup through a 0.6-cm (0.25-in) straw in a world record time of 33 seconds on September 23, 1999.

I would say that fastest crocheter kinda ranks with these guys. But then it's all about the PR and the ego, right? Not about doing anything of lasting value, like writing a useful knitting book either? No, not that either.

How rare! And how incredibly stultifying.

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