Best Quote I Heard All Day
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

And the gene pool on I80 today needed a poolboy...with an Uzi.

All Good Codeheads Close the Tag
I had nothing better to do today at the lake than fiddle around with a little prototype Knitbloggers sock...not warm enough to go swimming, just enough sun to maintain tan.

Btw, the <> design in the sock is an html tag. If you do any web design/dev, that means something. If you don't, don't ask. It's a whole 'nother language...not unlike ssk and k2tog.

Oh yeah, I did a review of the new Jamieson book today too.

Date-zilla
So I went out to dinner the other night with some friends who dragged along the "Available Man" for me. Why do they feel like they need to do this?...oh boy, was this guy a Primo Bore-o-rama...and clearly was trying to, um, make it with me. Number One, he had pig eyes. I kept thinking of Green Acres every time I looked at him...what was the pig's name? (oh right, Arnold.) Two, he kept telling me how beautiful I am (talk about laying it on with a trowel), how beautiful my eyes are, tried to hold my hand across the table (I moved it at the speed of light), told me about his mail folding equipment he has at home (!???), and never let me get more than a word or two in between his monologue on how he saved some woman at work's kid from a life of prostitution and drugs by sending her to a Costa Rican halfway house run by Mormons...and how he did the K of C newsletter for free (explains the mail folding equipment).

I'm not making this up!!! You can't make this shit up! And here's the kicker...he told me he was looking for a woman who would greet him with dinner on the candle-lit table and classical music playing in the background. So I said, "Well, I guess my Led Zep albums wouldn't cut it, eh?"

Never stopped him...tried to put his arm around me as we were all leaving the restaurant. Talk about the New Jersey Two-Step! Man, I moved it.

Thank God he doesn't have my phone number. If any "friend" gives it to him, they are dead meat. He is living proof that all the AV nerds you avoided in high school are alive...and are single. Little wonder.

Regia Stretch Color
This stuff is great. I posted same on the Socknitters list today...one of my rare cameos on any list. But I've been much impressed by the sproinginess of this yarn. Making a pair of Traveling Wilbury socks with it. I'm going to put that up as a freebie pattern on the blog...but not tonight. It's getting increasingly more difficult to type...and knit, I hate to say. So with that, it's back to e-mail and maybe some minor knitting before Saturday Night Live.

How rare! Frozen fingers...is it a prerequisite that one must wait 3 weeks to see a specialist? Gack.

Friday Five! TGIF!!

1. What's your favorite piece of clothing that you currently own?
My classic jeans vest that I'll probably embroider one of these days...

2. What piece of clothing do you most want to acquire?
A classic jeans jacket...or maybe a dress by Donatella Versacci.

3. What piece of clothing can you not bring yourself to get rid of? Why?
My size 24 jeans. So I never forget how big I was and remember how to eat right so I never have to wear them again.

4. What piece of clothing do you look your best in?
My new jeans :-) oh, and this slinky black skirt with a slit up the side and strappy heels.

5. What has been your biggest fashion accident?
My mother, when I was 16, who bought me red rubber boots instead of what I asked for. No, seriously, I don't really have any, I know what I look good in and I'm picky anyway.

More later...It's 6 a.m. and I need some coffee.

Best Quote I've Heard All Day
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Here's to my real friends...and you know where ALL my bodies are buried...

Blocking For Blockheads
So here it is, Liz. A .pdf on Blocking for Blockheads, just for you...and anyone else who needs some info on blocking. The whole thing just got way too long for a blog post. Btw, for those who have never dealt with .pdf (Portable Document Format) files, it's what you read with Acrobat Reader. If you don't have Reader, you can get it for free here. It's a quick download and if you do anything on the internet, you need it.

We'll Have Fun, Fun, Fun til Daddy Takes the T-Bird Away
Work, work, work. And now I'm tired, so I'm not going to write much tonight...need to glom some TV and knit. Maybe call my friend Gail. Maybe go to sleep. Maybe have a cup of caffeine and stay up late and knit. The Lucy socks are back on track. Oh jeez, I know what I forgot! I bought the new Jamieson book today...and once again ogled the Sweaters from Camp book. The Jamieson book is fabulous...lots of gorgeous sweaters, even a 3-color-in-the-row Fair Isle...which I wouldn't bother making, even though I'm a Fair Isle maven. But altogether lovely designs. Cables, textures, colors, easy, intermediate, expert--something for everyone. I'll toss a review of it up on the other page, along with a review of Interweave Knits tomorrow.

Good night, sweet princesses (and princes) of Knitdom...don't forget to comment on Shit to Knit and which is your least fave. I'll put all entries into a post one of these days.

Best Quote I've Heard All Day
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?

And the other day, I told our youthful but clueless VP of Marketing that I eat little boys like him for dinner...and I do.

Stitches East
OK, it's never too early to start talking about this. Who's going? When? I'm going probably both Saturday and Sunday. Saturday to see and schmooze, Sunday I take ElderKnitterMom Elly on a rampage through the Market...having scoped it out the day before. Elly plans on buying Noro...my bet is on Spring Garden. I want some. I want it all. Gimme.

Blocking for Blockheads
Well, it works as a headline. Liz, I promise I will write something on blocking. It's a subject that is seemingly controversial. Some people block alla time, some people block some of the time, there's different ways to block for different fibers, garment architectures, and so on. But it's after 11, so I'll maybe do this tomorrow.

The KC's Shit to Knit Award
So what's the absolute worst yarn you've ever worked with? Give me your thoughts...I have to say, I truly hated the Philosopher's Wool that I suckered myself into buying. Not only were the pattern directions dreadfully written, but the wool was second cousin to Brillo. Loopy will attest to that, having been suckered herself at about the same time, several years ago. So Loop, you have to come up with something other than PW...the rest of you have your own faves, I'm sure.

And so to bed, with the expectation of 28 lbs. of fluffy, ginger-tabbyish Milo walking on my back at 3 a.m. How handy! How annoying.

Best Quote I've Heard All Day
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

Never let it be said that I'm not ambitious...

Hand/Neck Stuff
This has been a suck-awful day...went to the orthopedist for the MRI reading. A disk in my neck is herniated, which is causing the numbness in my left hand. Now I have to see a spine expert but not until September 19 :-( Hurry up and wait. The orthopedist thinks that I'm borderline for surgery. And reassured me that this surgery would not be as bad as my back surgery of 21 years ago. Yeah, right. Well, we'll see...he didn't say to stop knitting though. But I'm really missing my Jimmy right about now. It's not fun being a widow, believe me. Give your DH or SO a big kiss tonight and don't forget to say, "I love you."

Rip It Out...Rip It All Out
Frogged the better part of my Lucy In The Sky socks this morning at about 6 a.m. because, shucky darns, I'm using cotton Fortissima and the gauge wasn't what I had done in the swatch originally. Might be my left hand, although I doubt it. This sock starts with a ruffle for a cuff--which seemed fine, gauge-wise. But the leg of the sock is this little smocking sort of stitch, where you K2, yo, K2, pass yo over the K2 every other round. (You shift 4 sts over on the second smocking round so that the little passed-over yos are staggered and look like faux-smocking. This is from BW's 3rd Treasury, one of the uncharted ones in the back of the book.) Time to recalculate pattern. But the ruffle can stay as is.

Stuff I Did Buy in NYC
Some glitter crap eyelash that I'll use for the cuffs of the Elvis (The Vegas Years) socks. Black with pink and aqua lurid lashy things--Trendsetter Metal. Perfect! The rest will be Dale Baby Ull in black, aqua and pink...I'm thinking thunderbolts and TCBs. Of course, I suppose I should make them FAT socks, with maybe little Fair Isle bacon and peanut butter sandwiches.

I figure, Elvis (The Sun Session Years) will be next. Any ideas? Maybe a socky rendition of Heartbreak Hotel or Jailhouse Rock? And then of course, there could be Elvis (The GI/Priscilla Years). Too rare!

I could take this Rock and Roll sock thing way over the edge...but as Bonnie Raitt once sang, "only the truly twisted know so well."

Best Quote I've Heard All Day
"God is love...love is blind...Ray Charles is blind...Ray Charles is God?"
What'd I say? Amen.

WTF Happened to My NetComments?
They seemingly have disappeared and been absorbed into NetWeaver, but no commenting capability and no trace of them. Fuck me...and YACCS is no longer accepting anyone...so it's Haloscan and all previous NetComments have been erased. How pissed am I? Don't ask.


NYC KnitBloggers Tour de Shops, Part II

Here's how it started yesterday morning...Jen Tocker was here from Israel and we were all going to meet at 10 a.m. at Habu's on 29th St. and 7th Ave. Except that it was closed...or they weren't answering. Or something. Thank God School Products was just around the corner. 45 minutes or so there...I didn't buy much of anything...not much I wanted to buy. Next, it's uptown to The Yarn Co. on 81st and B'way.

Time: 11:30 a.m. or so. The Yarn Co. does not open until noon. Liz Hiraldo buzzes them anyway. Someone's there but they won't let us in. Then Jen gets on the intercom and announces that she's just flown more than 7,000 miles to come to THEIR shop so won't they let us up? This is New York. The one person tells us to go have coffee at Starbucks. Jen realizes that traveling Israelis are not a unique commodity in NYC and this will not be her ticket to ride.

Time: Noon. We make it upstairs finally. An insane, orgasmic plethora of fiber. Everything must be felt. Everything must be compared to everything else. I swear almost everything seemed to be handpainted. After an hour, things start to get crowded. We leave. Betseeee Edelstein will meet us in Brooklyn at StaceyJoy's RedLipstick. We're on the road again.

Time: 1:15 p.m. Haven't had lunch...but StaceyJoy had the best Black & Whites I've had in years. Such a wonderful funky shop! Stacey showed us her secret latex tape (very interesting!!!), we looked at her knitwear, chatted, milled around and so on. Ivete had just had a nifty ball of yarn and needles tattooed on her back (see pictures link further down) and Liz had the most incredible, vibrant, artistic tattoos I have ever seen. Given my distaste for needles...and the fact that I'm not of an age where I'd even consider it, I could almost see myself doing it...if I were 25 or so. Betsy showed up and we were off to Atlantic Ave. and Knitting Hands, which Liz Hiraldo promised us would be fabulous. In the meanwhile, we inhaled a slice of pizza and then jumped on the 1 train.

Time: About 2:30? We get to Knitting Hands and it's one of the best knitting shops I have ever been in. Only the old Patternworks in P'keepsie was better, IMO. They have everything from Red Heart (honest to God, I wouldn't lie!) to Koigu and beyond. A Koigu kimono hangs from the wall in the front of the shop. There is every single knitting book imaginable. A wall filled with needles and tools. Fabulous bags. Racks of magazines and patterns. Sigh. I need to move in.

Time: 3:45 p.m. Since I have about 60 miles to go to get home (got home about 6:30 in the midst of pouring rain), I split. This was one of the best Saturdays (or any day) that I have spent in a long, long time. Thanks, guys!

And here are the pictures...

Best Quote I've Heard All Day
Which is worse: Ignorance or apathy? Who knows? Who cares?
What everyone says at work these days...with an air of insouciance.


NYC KnitBloggers Tour de Shops, Part I or Feets Don't Fail Me Now!
Just back from humid, drippy NYC where I met Jen Tocker, Ivete Tecedor, Liz Hiraldo, and Betsy Edelstein. I'll do more tomorrow on this, when I get my pictures back of us feeling up fibers. Stopped at Red Lipstick and met Stacey too. A totally fab-o-rama time!

Sweaters From Camp
Got a look-see today. I have to own this book. Great technical section on Fair Isle up front, plenty of unbelievable FI garments. With 39 designs and $40 for the book, I'd say this is well worth the steep price. I mean, it's basically a buck a pattern plus the info. Can't beat that. Of course, if you're not into Fair Isle, don't buy it. If you want to learn, you need this book.

Don't Fuck Around and Code After Walking 150 NYC Blocks
Jeez Louise, I should know better...those of you who DIY KNOW what I mean. Little > signs showing up because you forgot to close the tag, etc. Not clicking Publish. Lost in endless lines of code, code, CODE. Anyway, finally started adding my blogreads...and yes, there are baseball blogs and links that I go to because, um, knitting isn't my only interest. Music, baseball, history, and a bunch of other things. Ah me...so many interests and I have to work for a living too. Shit on a stick.

Hasta lumbago. I'm off to have a cup of caffeine (it's how I've lost 65 lbs...drink coffee, don't eat much). How rare!

FRIDAY FIVE Yes, I'm doing this...seems like fun.

1. What is your current occupation? Is this what you chose to be doing at this point in your life? Why or why not?
I'm an operational procedures analyst with a computer training company. It means, basically, that I write/manage/dig up all the company's processes and procedures--basic documentation gig. I also act as a user analyst, helping senior management to understand why IT can't build a complete web site in 3 hours. It's probably one of the best jobs I've ever had--appeals to my Teutonic sense of order.

2. If time/talent/money were no object, what would your dream occupation be?
I would be sitting on my butt doing nothing but designing knitwear.

3. What did/do your parents do for a living? Has this had any influence on your career choices?
My father worked for his father--they owned a precious metal import/export company. My mother did not work until after my father died and I was long married, but she went back into the workforce and did a 20-year stint as a legal secretary to a partner in a large law firm. She only retired when she was 75. Neither influenced my career choice, but both encouraged me to write...which has been my main occupation for the past 25 years in one way or another.

4. Have you ever had to choose between having a career and having a family?
Not really. The kids came first, my choice. Worked as a psychiatric technician evenings and nights until they were old enough to leave--spent loads of time with them. Then I went into publishing with a vengeance. Never regretted any of it.

5. In your opinion, what is the easiest job in the world? What is the hardest? Why?
Nightwatchman? I dunno, every job has its trials and tribulations. The hardest? Cop or fireman. Risking your life every day...now that's hard.

Best Quote I've Heard All Day
"You can't have everything. Where would you keep it?" -- Steven Wright

In my walk-in closet, with the rest of my sh*t.

So Many Ends, So Little Focus or
Talkin' Bout Lazy Knitters Blues

So. I bought 2 skeins of the faux-Fair Isle Regia. I did. I admit it. And a double ball of the Socka Mexico. After all, other than passing on knitting odd-i-ments, I do occasionally bow to the supreme lemmingness of the lists, just out of prurient curiousity. For a buck-three-eighty, it's pretty harmless and no damage to the budget. And Liz will like whatever I make from them.

But having cut my Fair Isle teeth, as it were, on the likes of Sarah Don and Alice Starmore, I don't get the appeal.

I don't.

After casting on the prerequisite 60 sts for my plain-vanilla socks with the Regia, working a bit of 2/2 rib, then moving into the stockinette for about 3 inches, I don't see where the thrill is. Is it that there is a half-assed patterning appearing because of the dye spacing? Is it that you get half-assed results from a half-assed effort? Are these rhetorical questions? Yep. Cause I already know the answer.

It's sort of trompe-l'oeil knitting...except you can fool sommada peeples sommada times, but it don't equal real Fair Isle. Plus, to make the second sock identical to the first, you have to dig through the ball to find the exact same starting point. I'd druther steek, myself. However, the listers don't want no steenkin' steeks. Nor ends to weave in. Or worry about reading a graph. Or carry two colors. Instant gratification rears its ugly head again.

Next topic for next time: Why it's a huge problem being a left-handed knitter. NOT.

Best Quote I've Heard All Day
Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges

For the perimenopausal babe in all of us...

Eco-Knitting
At the risk of bordering on the gross...which doesn't bother Loopy and me, but may offend some of our more "delicate" sisters, it behooves me to pass along whatever creative thoughts might strike my strained brain. My motto: Offendere utque instructare. I know...no one takes Latin any more. I had three years of it in high school.

Loop found a site that may contain the seeds of a knitting project guaranteed to outdo the knitted Swiffer cover. Yes, gang, it's Eco-Knitting time. You like those natural tampax? I know I was always concerned about TSS, myself, when I needed to worry about it . Well, Loop, in her continuing search for exotic (and cheap) fibers, THOUGHT she was stumbling upon some new, nifty resource for yarn...and found Eco-Yarns. I was thinking we could plant a thread on one of the lists...with a free pattern on how to knit your own plugs from cotton. I figure, you could use something like Cotton Classic, double it, and work some I-cord on 11s for, um, maybe 4", leave a long tail.

Remember, you saw it here first, before it hit the lists.
How handy!

I take it back

Guy #2 came through...I don't think he reads my blog but if he does: John, you're the best...rock on, baby!

Best Quote I've Heard All Day Give me ambiguity or give me something else. Boy, see rant below. Ain't that the story of my life.

Tale of Two Guys
This is non-knitting stuff but I have to kvetch. WHAT IS WITH GUYS??? Sorry, didn't mean to shout. Ever since I got back into dating last April, I keep meeting guys who don't know WTF they want. One says he loves me and always has (we're talking 20 years here) and then can't decide what he wants to do about it. So fine. He goes off on the road. I don't bother with him for 2 months. Figure, that's that. I can't deal with indecision. The next one, really neat, wants someone to live 5 minutes away from him AND should knock him off his feet immediately. I don't fit into those two, never mind that we share a ton of stuff in common, more than Guy #1, and had lots of fun together. Both of these guys are intelligent, sexy, fun to be with and don't get it that I don't wanna marry them, fercrissakes. Sheesh.

I'm going through this major "WTF is wrong with me" ever since Guy #2. Here I've lost 65 lbs., colored my hair honey blonde because I was tired of looking like Barbara Bush, I'm not too dumb and have a lot of interests, easy to be with. So what wrong wid dat?
Here's the old me:

And here's the new me:


Sigh. I promise knitting content later, when I've stopped being irked at these two. But there's always the computer consultant who asked me out to dinner and an art director who lives the town over who has potential...girls just wanna have fu-un! Even at 52.

Oh Frabjous Day!
Ms. Elly, my septuagenarian knitting mama, is back from her sojourn in the Catskills with her even creakier and certainly crankier buddies Joyce and Tom. She virtually finished a vest while there...guess the conversation wasn't all that stimulating. And told me she looked through Knitter's when she got home and immediately consigned it to the garbage, where she believes it belongs. The apple don't fall far from the tree.

I can only imagine what I'll be like in 25 years or so when I'm Elly's age, if some irate KnitDweeb doesn't plot my assassination first--perhaps drowning me in a vat of Kiwi Kool-Aid...or smothering me with a chenille warshcloth...or inundating me with hideous e-mail animated greeting cards featuring glassy-eyed, Hello Kittyesque creatures and bland, vapid cutsie children a la Precious Moments until I choke on my own regurgitation. The possibilities are endless. Apocalypse now!

Oh yeah. I forgot. K-Dweebs don't believe in planning. Never mind.

Painting Myself Into a Corner, Design-wise
I try to work out my designs as much as possible ahead of time, do the color charts, figure out the placement, visualize what elements belong where for the maximum aesthetic balance...but the best laid plans of mice and (wo)men aft gang agley. (Apologies to Bobbie Burns.) This Fair Isle sock design that I'm doing, in lavender, wine, and smoky amethyst Jawoll, was going gangbusters until I hit the heel. Did a bi-color moss stitch for the heel in the wine and amethyst...looked just fine...but somehow, when I came to the gusset pickup, I was at a total loss as to which color to use. I should have used the lavender...used the amethyst. And maybe the lavender wouldn't have been good either. I ended up with no good choices. Now it sucks. Well, I'll wear them this winter but I doubt I'll publish them. So the cuff and leg look great, the heel is nifty...and after that, it all goes down the toilette. Feh.

I'm getting less clever by the minute this weekend. How rare.

Best Quote I've Heard All Day from BlogHop:
Swearing is the crutch of inarticulate motherfuckers

What they say. Yeah.

Knitting Lists--Are They Crutches for the Terminally Stupid?
I've finally figured out what the problem with all these knitting mailing lists is: the same doltish people post the same doltish questions without ever bothering to A) look something up in a REFERENCE BOOK and B) work the problem out on their needles before they ask for help. Loopy got me thinking about this the other day when she reminded me that the KnitList was once a lively forum for knitters, when it was hosted on the UMN server in 1997. It has now disintegrated into a Happy Dancing, chronically stagnant morass of FOs, UFOs, SEX (probably the most idiotic of all the list-ish acronyms) populated by hopelessly hapless loonies asking how to make a slip knot.

All the interesting knitters are doing something else. Loopy and I have continued our e-mail friendship long after any of the lists held any allure for either of us. Some of these knitters are doing blogs now, thank you Jesus. I was remembering the times on the old K-List, when my screen name was Raveledslv (at that time, there were people on the list who got that), where I could read interesting discussions of technique, cogent reviews of books, yarn and materials, and I could speak my mind without getting flamed. Well, the Anti-Martha Stewart series of posts that I did sparked some not-so-nice mail. LOL! But in the main, I loved reading almost all of the posts.

When I first began knitting seriously in 1974, there were no real knitting books, no magazines other than McCall's Needlework & Crafts, not much in the way of yarn, no instant answer gratification from the internet. If I didn't understand a technique, I worked it out on scrap yarn until I did understand. When, in 1978, I discovered Mon Tricot, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven! American Home Crafts, a fabulous but short-lived magazine, Homemade, published by Lark...these were my learning tools. And making mistake after mistake after mistake...and being challenged to learn. And learn I did.

The blogs represent all that is innovative on the internet knitting scene today, in my opinion. My greatest fear is that the K-Dweebs find out about blogs and we start seeing "My Knitted Warshcloths" blogs and "Kathie's Kute Kool-Aid Knits" blog......but nah. To do a blog means you need to be technical...and then the K-Dweebs would have to start a list that would answer such questions as "What is HTML?" and "when I click 'Publish,' I can't find my website." But forewarned is forearmed. This could happen.

Knitting Renegades, UNITE! Be vigilant against the Attack of the Dimmy KnitDweebs!

Review of Fall 2002 Knitter's is up on No Affiliation Reviews on Knitting Stuff.

Busy day...MRI of neck to see what's causing the pinched nerve that's screwing up my left hand. Believe it or not, I fell asleep during the 45 minutes it took, listening to Bonnie Raitt's Road Tested .

I'm still a counterculture baby, one of Chuck's Children, etc. I think that's why the Knitterati Establishment irritates me into curmudgeonry. Loopy e-mailed me this afternoon and made some comment as to "Renegade Knitters, Unite!" Yeah, baby! That's it!! I want to gather all the Renegade Knitters unto my ample boobs and create a new millenium counterculture. Or some shit like that. How rare! What you think?

Book of Love Lace Socks pictures are up on The Rock and Roll Sock Collection page. These are the socks that I designed especially for Ms. Liz, who was a junior bridesmaid in her uncle Waynie's wedding last year. Liz refused to wear them...way too girly-girl for her, so I'll flog the design to you all.

Knitter's came in the mail today. I actually avoided looking at it until I had A) changed my work clothes and B) made myself a cup of coffee. Review coming tomorrow on No Affiliation Knitting Reviews, along with some news about a new knitting catalog from Knit Picks.

Even Back in the Victorian Era, The KnitDweebs were recognized as a bona fide subculture of knitting...although I suspect that the K-Dweebs have multiplied exponentially since then and may, in fact, now be an uberculture. Gack (or should I say, HYUK?)...the thought! This, from a Socknitters post:

"A knowledge of knitting has so many advantages
that it is almost superfluous to enumerate them...
And for this there is excellent reason.
The cheapness of materials required,
the simplicity of the work, the scope it affords
for the exercise of taste and ingenuity,
and the very small amount of attention and
application it requires, have placed the art
within the reach of the most humble,
and the power of the most stupid."
Ladies Guide to Needlework, 1877

As Loopy sez, "What foresight! How did they know the KnitList would happen?"

What does this tell us? History repeats itself. I've got the Tums if you've got the time. And a Splendiferous Snotrag design that I swear will attract at least some K-Dweebs who don't get it.

The Liz Page and other additions
I'm a good Grammy. Liz is so enamored of the web process that I have allowed her to create her own blog...she knits but keeps forgetting how. So here's a link to Liz's game blog--of course, Liz must choose a Blogger template with a million separate graphic pieces, so I'm still working over the code. But if you have a 10 year old skateboard rat gamer, I'm sure s/he will love it.

Loopy Gizzardface, my close associate and frequent partner in knitting crimes, has been dubbed Honorary Knitting Curmudgeon by me, because I can. She's almost as scary as I am. AND she's from the Midwest. Joisey and Michigan--perfect together.

No Affiliation Reviews on Knitting Stuff
The first in a long line, I hope--click on the link above. I've reviewed the new issue of Cast On. Knitter's should be mailing shortly. I'll be doing the magazines, the books, plus yarn, tools and all the other crap that we all seem to buy. Film at 11.

Mothers, don't let your babies grow up to be programmers
Well, I'm more or less moved into the new domain, KnitzMe.com. Still have to hardcode the archives...but you can scroll down and read. And all this from the woman who failed Algebra, and got a moron's score on Spatial Relations and Abstract Reasoning on that standardized test in HS.

And I do this for a living--well, at least some of the time. What better way to spend a Saturday night? Not. I need a nice guy.

Knitting for the Masses
Now here's the thing about knitting in public that I find most disconcerting. It's not the inane comments, no matter how kindly meant. In my strictly unscientific, purely off-the-cuff observations, most people confuse knitting with crocheting but ARE interested in what I'm doing. What amazes me is that, once enlightened as to what knitting is, they then have the unmitigated nerve to ask, "Well, could you make ME something?"

I think not. My stock answer is, "I don't knit for other people." This is not strictly true. I have been known to crank out Wallabys for the grandchildren, socks for the daughters, an occasional charity item if I'm feeling charitable. I will knit for you if you have won my heart, no doubt about that.

The fact of the matter is, I don't live to knit for others. I'm a frustrated painter and sculptor. I can't draw a straight line. But I love color and texture. I love the fiber in my hands. I have momentary flashes of design inspiration that I try to translate into knitted reality. I did not learn to knit and study knitting all these years to make someone a Wool-Ease pullover.

The funny thing is, when I explain to those in dire need of one of my garments that it takes weeks and weeks and frequently months from start to finish and that I do what I do for the aforementioned reasons, they offer to pay me, without understanding that it is not a question of money, it is a question of design freedom and personal satisfaction.

And then get offended when I turn down their, um, generous offer of cash. So my solution--I do a rough calculation in my head of what it would cost them for one of my sweaters, using a base of $10 an hour, which is pretty cheap, all things being equal. And then I tell them.

Works for me. Am I an artiste with an attitude? Maybe. Maybe it's a question of educating the masses, not knitting for them.

Me Like Pie...When Come Back, Bring Pie
Btw, do check out the Weebl and Bob link. It's about the funniest thing I've found lately while surfing. Every time I feel a little depressed, I just check out these great Flash cartoons. As Weebl sez, "How rare."

Review: Sock Wizard and Stitch & Motif Maker but first...
Health-o-gram...ZZZZZZZZZZ

Well, forearm, wrist and hand are in hideous, robo-splint that makes both typing and knitting damn near impossible. I'm crabby from the constant ache, not to mention the neverending "What happened to your hand" comments at work. Well, OBVIOUSLY some shit happened, didn't it? You'd think I worked at St. Elsewhere's, what with the number of pseudo-physicians who offered varied diagnoses today. I hid in my office and worked through lunch to avoid stares and questions. But I persevere. Have to immobilize whole deal until I see the orthopedist next Monday.

Now for my jiffy reviews: These programs are absolutely great! They deliver what they promise, for a change. User friendly, nice interfaces. Sock Wizard files export directly into Word, where they are editable. St & Motif Maker charts export into MS Paint, with provisions made for legend typing...or not, your choice. One of my Rock n Roll Collection designs went from paper and knitter's graph to Word file in less than a half hour.

I have Cochenille's Stitch Designer and Garment Styler for my PowerPC Mac--Stitch Designer is not nearly as good as St & Motif Maker, IM not-so-humble O. As with Stitch Designer, you can scan stuff into St & Motif Maker. I have a logo that I'm itching to do for a rabid Braves fan I know. I also got Carole Wulster's sweater design program. I'll be reviewing that later this week to see how it stands up to Garment Styler.

Struck Down in the Prime of Life
And so it was that moi, Curmudgeonette Tricoter, wrestling early this morning with 4 double-pointed needles in her quest to work round one on 64 stitches, thereby winning the Gold for the American Knitting Acrobatics team, discovered that the slight numbness in her left hand pinkie had spread to half of her ring finger and up her arm to the elbow and was starting to ache. Gack. What fresh hell is this?

Time for the orthopedist. I hope it's that nasty pinched nerve in my left shoulder blade...but the shoulder blade doesn't hurt. At the risk of being labeled a hypochondriac, it's worrisome to watch your arm grow weaker and weaker. By dinnertime, I could not securely lift a bowl with my left hand. Still typing though. Anyone with knitting-related arm-hand injuries...or nonknitting-related, for that matter...is welcome to give me their dollah-three-eighty before I call Dr. Rubman tomorrow (yes, that's really his name--great, isn't it?!)

Carpel tunnel? Nah, don't think so...although I've been doing a prodigious amount of typing and knitting recently. And shucky darns, I'm left handed too, although more ambidextrous than sinister. Or is it sinistrous?

I believe that the cure for this ailment must be a passionate, drooling, psychedelic sexual encounter. Or something like that. And not with Dr. Rubman, either.

Time for the Braves v. Cards game...one of these days I'll do a baseball blog. It's the only sport for which I am willing to glue myself to the TV. So bite me.

Knitted Swiffer Pads designs are awaited with great anticipation by some denizens of the Knit List, as posted today by various and sundry. You can't make this sh*t up. You really can't. I feel my Splendiferous Snotrag design calling me to my needles...

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